k..Thx.. ba i

kerisis di pertengahan hidup

2011-10-09T08:43:00.003+08:00

mumbling2..., tadi ada chat satu kawan lama ni, cingcong cingcong cingcong masuk la bab rumah tangga dia, [ di pendekan story].... dan dia dengan mudah mengatakan mo divorce... ??? sedikit terkilan, sedikit bengong .. . alasan mereka cerai, biar pun banyak yg dia bagi tahu dan stroy masalah rumahtangga dia, i really don’t know dan satu pun aku tidak paham...

masing-masing ada sebab... aku yg dalam keadaan benggong terfikir jua seketika, apa kah ini the marriage life? i can not give them any advice, coz my own life is hanging on a thread *damn*.

dan apa yg aku blh buat waktu2 ketikaa ini, berdoa.. semoga mereka diberikan jalan yg terbaik atas masalah mereka , despite of looking who did the right thing...

me* erti idup itu apa? selalu2 dan sekarang ini aku pun tidak tahu ,hidup dari hari ke hari seperti apa selalu2nya dan tidak punya keinginan untuk lebi dari itu.. hurmm??? ntaah...sebab aku pun selalu failed owHh.

Aku Kau & Dota [ another research part II ]

2011-09-20T06:36:00.002+08:00

puas dengan game smlm,haha..slama hampir 10jam xD...what this aall about? i'm talking about dota...and here we goes again..! guess what it is? It's another post about relationship!

jadi berapa ramai antara kamu semua tau apa itu DOTA (Defense Of The Ancient) ?
kalau lelaki rasanya ramai yang tau dan suka main DOTA ni..dan utuk aku? YA! . Kalau perempuan plak ramai yang cukup anti ngan DOTA ni kan? dunno them... xD
jadi kalau kamu mau tau apa tu DOTA google jak la -.-"

"Defense of the Ancients (commonly known as DotA) is a custom scenario for the real-time strategy video game Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos and its expansion, Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne, based on the "Aeon of Strife" map for StarCraft. The objective of the scenario is for each team to destroy the opponents' Ancients, heavily guarded structures at opposing corners of the map. Players use powerful units known as heroes, and are assisted by allied heroes and AI-controlled fighters called "creeps". As in role-playing games, players level up their heroes and use gold to buy equipment during the mission.

The scenario was developed with the "World Editor" of Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos, and was updated upon the release of its expansion, The Frozen Throne. There have been many variations of the original concept; the most popular being DotA Allstars, which eventually was simplified to DotA with the release of version 6.68.This specific scenario has been maintained by several authors during development, with the current publicly anonymous developer known as "IceFrog" developing the game since 2005.

(Taken From Wikepedia)

dota semua bermula dari situ.. dan skrang kamu semua semuanya dah tau apa itu Dota. jadi apa sebenar yang buat DOTA sering jadi duri dalam daging dan sangat dalam relationship ni sebenarnya?
for me? entah...i oso really dunno...sbb aku pun masi blur2 lagi dgn game ni..mmg la dah main hampir 7thun lebih...tp bg aku, main utk suka2 hati jak.. it's just a freaking game liao! and you know that they will come back to you sooner or later.

last night aku ada chit chat dgn 1 budak prempuan ni...dia ni kira addcited jgk dgn dunia dota ni..

dan ....

ok dia kata kalau pilih antara DOTA ngan boyfriend dia dia pilih dota ..hehe but y? tapi reason dia ada logicnya... what she says is, both are from two different worlds, one is a fantasy an the other is a reality. ..
But if we think about this carefully DOTA is just about the same as any other hobby in this world...ndak perlu sampai kita anggap penghalang kepada relationship kita kan... i meant maybe perempuan tu ada boyfriend yang hobby dia tengok bola sampai bila keluar sekali pun setakat keluar tengok bola dekat kedai mamak kan? Tapi tiada pulak perempuan tu mau complain ini itu... siap boleh beli baju bola lagi utk team favorite boyfriend dia kan nak buat hadiah?jadik why DOTA should be any different?

tapi mungkin jgk la ada sesetengah lelaki yang memang suda addictedr dengan DOTA sampai lupa habis dengan girlfriend dia... if that is the case, kamu kamu kamu semua jangan la risau cause i got the freaking solution!

1)tryla main DOTA skali
Why not? Kalau perempuan yang ader boyfriend yang suka tengok bola boleh belajar tengok bola kenapa girlfriend player DOTA ndak boleh buat hal yang sama? DOTA ni actually mudah jak mau main. ..belajar sampai expert lepas tu lawan dengan boyfriend sendiri... bila dia kalah ckp la dengan dia "kenapa kau noob sangat main ni?? Sampai Beyond Godlike saya bunuh awak dalam game ni! sua la muka ndak hensem mana, nasib baik aku jak tergila-gila dgn kau ni, tau tidak!" Lepas tu insyaallah dia akan malu sangat-sangat sebab kalah dngan girlfriend sendiri dan stop main. Tips ini juga effective untuk boyfriend kamu yang addicted dgn game jenis lain jgk.

2)try disable function network connection laptop dia
sbb aku pernah dengar pasal orang cadangkan suruh uninstall DOTA kalau ndak mau bagi boyfriend dia addicted dgn DOTA sangat...tapi DOTA senang mau dapat copy dan paste jak dari mana2 file dota di kawasan yg berahampiran xD

3) Try to negiote peacefully with him..
yg ni, sbgaai cth jaak la..sbb kebnyaakan perempuan bila lelaki tia balas mesej skit sebab main DOTA mesti terus marah... padahal selama ni selalukan mesej antara satu sama lain. tapi kalau dia degil jugak suru jak la dia bercinta ngan DOTA tu dan cari lelaki yang lagi deserve korang -.-"

the end....

*me: main dota dengan cermat, ingat laa org tersayang.. xD

Go Dota Go ...

2011-09-17T07:08:00.001+08:00

ok.. it has been a long time since my last update...maybe...tiada apa pun sebenarnya, eh, banyak sebenarnya. tapi tidak tahu dari mana mau mula..macam-macam,pu macam-macam penyakit.. tapi tu semua aku yang cari sendiri.. o.0

untuk 1 post ni aku amik 2-3, agak lama di situ ..maunya tidak lama sebab sambil tulis post ni,aku tengah berdota xD ..for sure? yaa ,last game tadi mesti menang, kalau tidak..tidur ku tidak lena.. xD and after that aku surfing2 la bab2 dota ni...and this is something I found when reading around about Dota. Not my work but definitely worth a share...and all the points thought humorous make lot of sense :P

Single-hearted devotion: He is willing to invest a lot of time and effort in pursuing the hobby he loves. In the future, he will be a successful career-minded professional who puts his heart and soul into what he does. Besides, a devoted man is an attractive man. The next time he is concentrating on a DOTA game, take a good look at him, and you may find him attractive in ways you never did notice before.
Indomitable spirit: Every DOTA-er starts from being a newb. Every DOTA player inevitably goes through the long and painful process of feeding and farming only a Boots of Speed and 2 Wraith Bands (not bracers coz too expensive) at 30mins. If he doesn’t have a never-say-die-attitude, he would have given up long ago. So, every DOTA player possess strong will and fighting spirit. And such a man, is of course, more reliable and can be depended upon.
Gentlemanly: A DOTA player is gentlemanly. Even when he gets thrashed badly, he will still say GG (good game) to the opponent at the end of the game. At the most, just try again another day.
Extraordinary patience: DOTA cultivates patience. The opponent might be owning 10 minutes into the game, but a good DOTA player will persevere on and wait patiently for a chance to turn the tables. He will hang on tightly and continue to farm, gank (and sometimes KS if given the opportunity), until he gets the chance to wipe out the opponent team and make the winning push. Similarly in life, you can be sure that he will not PP (pull plug) but will hold your hand and endure the hardships together.
Extremely durable punchbag: Every DOTA-er would surely have been at the mercy of imba magic spells before, those that would make anyone pee in their pants, like Reverse Polarity+ Black hole, a Lion+Lina lane etc, or a Blink+Echo Slam when you are Broodmother pushing with a thousand spiderlings around you. So you can be sure that he makes a good punchbag when you need one, especially on those bad days.
Attentive and sensitive: A good DOTA player an observant one. One of the basic skills of DOTA is to be observant of your surroundings, of every move your opponent makes or is planning to make. Therefore, when he is spending time with you, he will be very sensitive to your feelings. Every frown or smile will not pass by unnoticed. He will lend a listening ear when you are troubled, his shoulder will be there when you need to cry (or are just feeling tired). He will offer words of comfort when you are feeling down. Can you find anyone better?
Lightning reflexes: Another basic requirement of DOTA is to have fast reflexes. Slowpokes are doomed to die in DOTA, because by the time you find the hotkey for Voodoo, you would have been killed by Invoker’s Tornado+Chaos Meteor, possibly followed up by Cold Snap. You don’t need to be as agile as Jet Li to get by in life, but there is no harm in having a partner who can react quickly to real-life situations.
IT-savvy: A DOTA player is more knowledgeable about computers and the net than the average guy. Any DOTA player would be able to talk, at some length, about graphic cards, CPU, mice, keyboards, bandwidth speeds etc. In this day and age, it can be embarassing if your partner is computer-illiterate. With a DOTA player as a spouse, you can be sure that all your kids will grow up to be tech-savvy, capable individuals.
Remarkable mental strength: Constant psychological pressure during DOTA is a norm. You never know when a Nerubian Assasin will pop out from nowhere, annihilating you within seconds. You can never be sure if a Pudge+CM is lying in wait at the secret shop. Hence, you can be assured that the DOTA player will not crumble easily in the face of real-life pressures, because he is so accustomed to handling such circumstances and the hours of DOTA has increased his mental endurance.
Effective planner: If you fail to plan in DOTA, you plan to fail. Rush headlong into a teamfight without planning and you will be waiting for respawn next. A good DOTA player is adept at planning, calculating risks and making judgements. To initiate a gank or not, how to position your character is but some of the many decisions you have to make throughout the game. Thus, the pro DOTA player is a careful and meticulous one. He will plan a party on your birthday, and plan a surprise for your anniversary.
Reliable breadwinner: Money makes the world go round. Farming for gold is of utmost importance in DOTA. Without items, your imba skills at micro/macro management cannot guarantee victory. The long and arduous process of farming for gold (especially reaching that elusive 3800 for a Relic) requires a lot of skill and technique. Hence, rest assured that a pro DOTA-er will always bring home the bacon, and lots of it. The husband earns for you to spend. What more can you ask for?
Faithful partner: DOTA players are loyal lovers. They are able to resist the flaming hot Lina or that sexy Rylai, and mercilessly send them back to where they came from (fountain), despite their charming looks. DOTA players will not be tempted so easily.
Team and community spirit: -Good- DOTA players are self-sacrificing. They always put themselves before others. They have good teamwork, and are willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. They don’t mind letting the team’s main DPS hero get the kill. This kind of person is not self-centred, and will place the family or society above self..

and for me....?semua ciri2 tu tidak semestinya ada, pun jua untuk aku sendiri, sebab ...ntah la...aku main untuk suka2 jak :P apa yang penting..pandai-pandai sitting la, jangan lalai dengan tanggungjawab sudah..the end.

me: im ready for dota again.

Smashed

2011-08-18T15:35:00.002+08:00

Broken, wrecked but not yet buried..

Mood Aku Down [ susah ]

2011-07-19T13:36:00.001+08:00

how hard ??
so hard ....

Recharge ..

2011-07-10T16:14:00.002+08:00

sebab ntahla apa2 ntahla..haiz ?? it's not to long bah since my last post to this blog one, busy gali lubang dan pnjat tiang hidrolik, 34-40 kaki..bahaya kerja ni tapi mau buat macam mana ..sudah kerja aku sekarang ni ..chill, but still at the beginning level right now, still i have no target for this 6months, But...InsyaAllah, the result if everything is working as planned..hehe, bunyi macam rahsia kerajaan :D

banyak perkara berlaku sekarang manarik atau tidak, telan jua.. ada sampai aku rasa dalam 24jam sehari ni, macam tidak cukup mudah untuk aku habiskan..cuma laptop aku ni ak yang...err.e.r..ya...always giving me a headache...kejap2 problem, bah that all for today..sok kerja kena lapor diri awal dengan SESB ..

Mood aku down [ dunno ]

2011-07-10T16:07:00.000+08:00

Live right
Right the way
You want it.
Even if that means
Going left into dunno...

Lemah ...

2011-06-26T19:28:00.002+08:00

pening, aku tidak mau jadikapa dengan aku sekrang ni.. rasa mcm hanyut dalam air yg tenang, ibarat buah kelapa yg gugur ke laut, mcm kapal yang tiada kemudi, macam kereta remote kontrol yang abis bateri, seumpama manusia yg tidak mengambil sebarang makanan kesihatan daripada mana-mana produk MLM….aku begitu lemah….aku malu! dan waktu2 sekarang ni,aku akui…masa aku memang-memang-memang sangat terhad...tiap hari aku penat degan kerja aku sekarang ni, dan aku akui tiada kerja yang senang dalam dunia ni...lebih2 lagi dengan kerja aku yg tiap hari bergelumang degan voltan tinggi, sedikit kesilapan boleh membawah padah...kalau dulu masa aku ibarat kek yg dipotong 2-3…sekarang pulak aku rasakan umpama dipotong 15. aku redha dan berdoa supaya tuhan permudahkan segala urusanku dan memberi aku ilham untuk mengendalikan masa aku ni dengan bijak.amin.

mood aku down [ again ]

2011-06-24T22:26:00.000+08:00

bukan satu minggu yang biasa bagi aku.. aku berjaya manage beberapa kerja dengan baik, tapi tanpa aku sedari…ada hati yang terluka.

*sorry

under construction

2011-06-13T15:33:00.002+08:00

aku mendefinisikan diri aku sekarang berstatus under construction. byk maintenance yg aku terpaksa buat…tukar profesion, tukar direction..arr?? tukar imej, tukar hangout place, tukar minyak hitam, tukar oil filter, balacing, alignment….byk lagi la sampai aku pun ndak tau sampai bila mau mcm ni.*sigh*

but ..??tapi aku mesti settle maintenance dulu..tu cerita panjang buat masa sekarang, dengan keadaan aku yang sekarang yang ntah macam mana mau story pun aku tidak tau..yalah macam mana boleh berfikir kalau dekat kepala ni banyak yang difikir banyak yg mau diselesaikan...tu pasal mesti buat maintenance dulu baru blh bergerak, baru bolh pikir mau bergerk lancar…tambah turbo ka…tambah sayap ka. bukan senang aku mau berhijrah seperti apa yg aku buat sekarang. ..KENINGAU i'm here..

Im Ok

2011-05-14T20:04:00.001+08:00

mana mau mula...
here this ...posting nie menandakan aku tidak lagi dalam satu2 keadaan yang selalu dibayangangi kisah2 yang menghantui aku selama beberapa tahun terakhir.. yang buat hidup aku ada haru birunya. i don't really know how does it happen apa yang aku ingat tahu..tapi seingat aku, beberapa hari yang lalu the last day i've been jalan2la orang pangil with my dear little sister and little kazen who named as Puspa and Lya...aku perasan, dan selalu teringat2, masa tu aku tidak sedar dan tidak tau pun kewujudannya, but... one thing serves my memory right now is them smile and mine that day.. i think i better keep it that way. .senyum..aku rasa agak ganjil, lain, err.er..tp bukan sebab mereka, not because of them,you or anybody.. but because of me. there's something inside that keep me smiling. and i can't stop. all in all. ..and now? i'm in a good mood... :)

smile while you can smile,
coz life ain't sunny all day!

LoOony

2011-04-16T06:32:00.002+08:00

you know bah when the ppl in your dept are starting to lose their marbles and when you begin hearing ppl whistling "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" randomly…diuu...

Untuk aku, Kau jadi aku

2011-04-16T06:10:00.003+08:00

it feels as if all the

important words

have been drained out

and I’m left with nothing

but dry heaves and

deep coughs.

it feels as if all the

meaning

has run away

and I’m left with nothing

but sore feet

and shoes filled with

holes and blood.

it feels as if all the

bullshit

floats on top of my mind

and that’s all I’m left with...

*pain is ass

How does getting rewarded through sharing sounds like to you? Join #ChurpChurp today and bring more friends to the community!

2011-04-12T01:39:00.000+08:00

How does getting rewarded through sharing sounds like to you? Join #ChurpChurp today and bring more friends to the community!

current life report II

2011-04-05T22:38:00.003+08:00

Show encrypted text

my life in ruins i tot

2011-03-29T12:22:00.000+08:00

protected by nothing now but my long shadow... sinners cast longer shadows…my life?? lay in ruins at my feet… why is that i oso wonder?

now, trying to pick up what’s left of the broken pieces and move on past this sickening hollowness...sigh

Mood Aku Down [ mood aku downla..zzz ]

2011-03-23T15:56:00.004+08:00

[ pokok kelapa ]

..simple talk? bah, hear this...makin kita tua, makinla kita banyak berfikir. makin kita rasa hidup ini lebih kompleks. makinla rasa susahnya mau paham diri sendiri, orang lain atau sesuatu komuniti, makin banyak dugaan... dan makin makinla makin bagi segala bagai permasalahan yang lain...arGhh!! mood aku down lagi, umur adalah satu angka yang paling bermasalah bila bercakap mengenai soal pemikiran dan tingkah laku...?

kalau dulu masa kecik-kecik lain cerita, buat ini itu tiada masalah.. sebab masih kecik.. orang kata, budak2, biasala tu nakal2 sikit. baru mau kenal dunia kan? dan..bla bla bla..

betul kan?

[ mood down? tengok pokok kelapa ]

dan…

dalam persekitaran kita, bukan ada satu jenis manusia sahaja..termasuk aku? berjuta!..ada kadang2 yang biasa2 jak, kompleks? mudah bergaul? unik? suka hasad dengki, suka berfikiran negatif, suka menyindir, suka menasihati, suka menyendiri, suka buat hal, suka ambil mudah, suka ambil berat, suka menolong dan banyak2 lagilah.. kita yang mana satu? dan aku yang mana satu? fine! aku mengaku aku jenis yang banyak negatif. sy susah nk bergaul (inferioriti kompleks kot) dan kompleks. sy rasa aku suka mengkomplekskan pemikiran ku sendiri.. itu masalah dalaman.. kadang2 terzahir juga..yalah manusia, mungkin juga aku jenis orang yang suka ambil mudah. dan juga susah mau fokus terhadap satu2 benda. suka betul menerawang jauh..jauh! lepas fikiran yang sudah pusing satu dunia barula sampai malaysia balik.. zzz..aku cuba belajar lebih fokus ok lain kali (dalam isu2 tertentu)..haha..*sigh*

hurmm, macam mana diri kita sekalipun, kita juga harus faham bahawa tidak semua orang yang akan memahami tingkah laku kita.. diri kita, hanya kita yang memahami dan tidak mudah untuk kita puaskan hati semua orang..sorry to say, really really really sorry for some one that what i'v done sebab ada yang terasa hati..maaf.

*me? yang pastinya tika ini haru biru lagi..the eNd.

Random Talk [ fly day II ]

2011-03-04T15:04:00.002+08:00

Though i like new experience, new thing and new what ever laa.. but for this it’s enough to have this kinda experience one time! *dun wanna have it again*

Well the good side is I could have an experience in this stuff.
What’s that????

: (

#me; grumbling mode on*

Random Talk [ fly day ]

2011-03-04T06:25:00.002+08:00

last post said … (of course it has to be done this day)
and the result was…. i still not ready till 9am…. slip tite oh slip tie…. but … let it be heks..

- to be continued

jika ...

2011-02-14T09:21:00.002+08:00

aku penat amat
aku juga sedih amat
aku juga mahu gembira diakhirnya walau detik ketikanya masih kabur
dan aku...? pasrah

hari ni tiada mood. sungguh...
seharusnya aku harus mengelak dari awan yang berpetir
seharusnya aku wajar mengejar apa yang telah tertinggal di belakang
tapi..hurmm..

akhirnya hampir setiap bulan aku akan sakit dan pening
bergelut dengan diri sendiri dan juga keadaan
sampai bila?
itu lah soalan yang aku sendiri harus berusaha untuk menjawabnya..

me: berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul kan?

aduh Taubat ...

2010-12-27T08:40:00.002+08:00

pagi ni aktiviti tiada, mamak suruh pigi rumah makcik ambil something, sampai jak terus kena suruh jaga budak sebab orang rumah mau kuar jalan...jaga budak ni susah juga ehh~ lebih-lebih budak-budak yang lum tau apa-apa, ni kes aku masa jaga anak buah pagi tadi..

nama dia Fatin.. umur kurang pasti tapi sudah tadika, yalah memang la Fatin sudah bertadika... Tapi dekat Tadika Kemas tuh, aku tengok komprehensif pengajarannya.. Balik2 ajar huruf. Balik2 ajar nombor. Warna gambar. Menyanyi. Melukis... jadinya aku ambik inisiatif sendiri, cuba ajar membaca pulak pagi ni dekat dia..

“kak,cuba eja B.U.K.U”

“B.U Bu, K.U Ku”

“apa bunyinya?”

“bunyi? Bunyi sama dengan ejala?”

“yalah... Kakak eja bunyi apa tadi?”

“B.U Bu, K.U Ku… bunyi sama dengan eja?”

“yalah kakak... betul la ejaanya tu... B.U Bu, K.U Ku.. jadi, bunyinya?”

“B.U Bu, K.U Ku…. bukan bunyi IBU ka?”

“bukan la... Ibu ejanya lain.”

“abis tu, B.U Bu, K.U Ku bunyi apa la?”

“Bunyinya sama la dengan yang kakak eja tuh. Sebut jak la bunyi yang kakak sudah eja tuh... Cubak lagi.”

“B.U Bu, K.U Ku…… bunyi sama dengan eja…. hurmmmm… kakak tidak mau sebut BUKU…….”

“Kenapa tidak sebut BUKU?”

“Sebab B.U Bu, K.U Ku bukan BUKU… bunyi lain………..”

Ok… katakan la kan, dia dah betul dapat sebut BUKU…… bila jumpa perkataan baru misalnya, BAKU….. dia akan sebut juga BUKU…… aku dan yang lain selalu hilang sabar. Hilang sabar bukan sebab apa, si kakak boleh sudah menggeja, tapi dia masi tidak boleh baca… *sigh*

Taubat aku mau jadi cikgu ni!

Another Quote

2010-12-27T08:21:00.002+08:00

– Appreciate

betul, apa yang orang cakap... hargai apa yang kita sayangi bila mereka ada di depan kita... ungkapkan sayang semasa mereka mengharapkannya... tunjukkan setia semasa mereka ada di sisi... sebab bila mereka dah tiada nanti, sekurang-kurangnya mereka tahu yang mereka dihargai...

posting awal di sini

me* Mengapa terus mengharap bila diri tidak lagi dihargai?

clue & less

2010-12-19T07:21:00.002+08:00

clue and less mode on….language mix on, cincai...so here we goes again...

there were times when i felt clueless..dunno who to ask, dunno what should be done to make it better.,and language barrier makes it complete!!

and the feeling that i don’t like the most is..being a burden to others zzz hurmm dari dulu lagi memang tidak suka kalau berebut dengan orang lain! moreover kalau tau orang tu..how too discribe this one..maksud aku,get annoyed cos of me…but no other way but to ask...got?

therefor..

somehow asking back… if only i can do better. Hmm no idea la..then kalau sudah begini, maybe it's better go somewhere or do something which i can contribute better rather than being a burden to others though dunno where’s and what’s that.

somehow feels like my english totaly s**k, random question is..who am i?

it does happen in anywhere, work and general life somewhere..probably it’s common problem of living abroad.

bla bla mode off..

Reminded..
that’s what i keep holding on, and try to ask back to my self, did you try your best?
if yes, then it’s enough. it’s just a matter of time to get better.

the end...

mood aku down [ marah ]

2010-12-11T05:46:00.002+08:00

*whisper to my self...

sekarang ni aku dalam transisi mau kurangkan marah dan belajar banyak sabar...
ingat senang ka masa marah tu, kita teruskan senyum...? sakit jiwa raga ni, dan aku dah usaha mau banyakkan air hujan dalam hati yang tengah bermerah api...janganlah bagi kepala batu aku jadi petrol bila aku sedang belajar siram air biar padam cepat... janganlah bila masa aku di bawah kau di atas kau pandang aku macam semutka apa ka... aku bukan semut hitam atau apakah apakah.. aku ni jenis semut API...haha.

Susah tau sabar. Susah! then jangan kacau don't disturb..sama pulak bunyi dia masa aku tengah main dota xD

yalah aku marah pun tapi untuk senangkan hati fikir ada hikmah semua tu...mungkin bila jadi begini akan jadi begitu...tapi yang begitu tu tersembunyi sebab tu nama dia HIKMAH... bila dah jadi barulah kau mau, patut pun hari tu begini begini...mau jadi begitu begitu rupanya...

Haizzz..ni mau marah ka mau mangadu domba? haha...yalah,tadi tu aku try marah tapi bunyi macam mangadu..seharian stress, mau marah punya pasal..lupa ni hadis ka atau apa.. "Kalau tengah berdiri rasa marah, duduklah.. Kalau duduk masih marah, berbaringlah.. Kalau masih juga, ambillah wuduk... Kerana wuduk itu bisa memadamkan api kemarahan...hheks..nice iz'zit? :)

me* still masih tidak berani mau tumbuk buku batu, dalam erti kata lain, cukuplah urat lutut putus dua...tidak sanggup mau biar tangan putus empat pulak. haha...

Tag lagi daa

2010-12-10T02:35:00.000+08:00

1. Apa benda penting dalam hidup anda?
- keluarga aku

2. Benda terakhir yang anda beli guna duit anda?
- rokok (petang tadi beli rokok premium rm3:50)

3. Di manakah tempat anda akan melangsungkan perkahwinan anda dan apakah temanya nanti?
- ntah

4. Adakah anda sedang bercinta sekarang?
-ya... bersama dota aku..Haha

5. Berapa lama anda akan mencintai kekasih anda?
- ndak payah tanya, sebab kalau aku cintakan dia pun dia blum tau lagi cintakan aku..phew!!

6. Di mana anda selalu jumpa kekasih anda?
- UCplay..dota gamer.

7. Novel/majalah/buku terakhir dibeli?
- juara-juara kembar edisi ogos

8. Apakah nama gelaran anda?
- bilis

9. Antara mak dengan ayah yang mana anda lebih mesra?
-2-2

10. Namakan orang yang anda betul2x nak jumpa dalam hidup anda?
- sudah tentu la nabi junjungan. rasul terakhir.

11. Adakah anda basuh baju anda sendiri?
-tidak(malas gila.haha)

12. Di manakah tempat anda betul2x nak pergi?
- tunaikan haji..tapi ndak tau bila.

13. Pilih satu "peluk" atau "cium"?
- both...rakus..haha

14. Beritahu 3 benda tentang orang yang beri tag.
- setia, manja, comel.

15. Lima benda yang disayangi dalam hidup anda.
- 1)kau 2)kamu 3)awak 4)anda 5)aku

16. Lagu yang anda suka dan selalu dengar.
- Yui-love & truth

17. Bila tarikh lahir dan kt maner korang sambut tahun lepas?
- none

18. Rakan blogger yg anda nk tag?
- sapa2 la yg masuk blog ni, blog ni pun biasa2 jak..tiada org mau masuk..uhuuu

me* dota

all i have to give

2010-11-24T04:40:00.002+08:00

after this, apa-apa jadi pun saya tidak akan salah kan kamu. Kamu akan salahkan saya tidak?...

Tiada salah siapa-siapa. Everything happen for a reason... Tidak perlu mau salah kan sesiapa, tidak payah mau sesal apa-apa...

Kamu tidaak menyesal kenal saya?...

Apa yang mahu dikesalkan? Knowing you was one of the best thing ever happen to me. i am so grateful to be tested this way so that i can be stronger and brave enough to face the fact of life.... the fact that we are not living in a perfect world... only that we are always trying so hard to find a perfection that realistically never exist..!

give love to the right person...thats all i have to give.

somewhere*

"When you look in her eyes, and she’s looking back in yours, everything feels not quite normal, because you feel stronger, and weaker at the same time. You feel excited, and at the same time, terrified. The truth is you don’t know what you feel, except you know what kind of man you want to be. It’s as if you’ve reached the unreachable, and you weren’t ready for it. ” – Peter Parker on Mary Jane in Spiderman.

me* special entry for a special person..happy birthday sis... May ALLAH bless you with years of happiness to come... remember, there are always a light at the end of the tunnel... you never know what is waiting... all you have to do is just keep a little faith and enjoy every moments of your life... life so beautiful to be wasted... :D

the end..

Somehow

2010-11-16T23:52:00.002+08:00

somehow i dono wanna continue or not, lie to myself?
we ain't drifting apart...
though its really hard to pretend that nothing is changing...and somehow?
you said distance won't be a problem...
but to me, its does matter...
it's been long since i told you my h2h feeling...

found myself a job.
sm starting work next week.
and still manage to tell myself
' go strong, smile like there isn't tomorrow '

i've to adjust myself, to adapt a newlife.
& i doubt, i've time to meet up with my friends anymore.
& we're definitely gonna drift...

me* unknown

Tagging On Facebook

2010-10-31T01:41:00.001+08:00

bangun tidur jak, bukak fb...ada 100 atau mungkin lebih notification...wah@wow rasa diri anda hot gila lah masa tu...sekali bila bukak, ada orang tag nama anda dalam gambar...zzzz dan 99 notification tadi, komen untuk gambar itu...gambar yang tiada kena mengena langsung. Perasaan anda?

Pendapat:
Anda mungkin berpendapat.. kalau anda mahu buat kerja cenggitu, sehari mungkin anda akan tag nama orang di 100 gambar...namun harus tau dan sedar itu semua sia-sia...anda tidak mahu publisiti murahan...

sama-sama la kita faham ya..

"love is like dota"
wise move, never feed the troll.

musim bola?

2010-10-30T23:55:00.003+08:00

dan aku hairanla napa aku tidak minat bola… mungkin aku tidak suka akan sesuatu yang ‘semua orang suka’ dan membuatkan aku tidak suka permainan yang perlu berebut rebut… nanti bola itu rasa dirinya hebat kerana 22 orang berebut berkejaran kerana beliau.

dan kerana semua orang suka, ndak semestinya aku tiada pilihan untuk kata ‘tidak.’ biarpun pelukis itu sangat terkenal dan artwork beliau dijual dengan harga RM22 juta pun, aku boleh cakap aku tidak suka… then walaupun 10 ribu kawan2ku semuanya meminati Justin Bibir, tidak bermakna aku harus sukakan homosex shota itu…heks

taste masing masing lah kawan… xD

current mood

2010-10-30T23:17:00.003+08:00

others of my story [ end ]

2010-10-30T22:41:00.002+08:00

ACADEMICALLY

i grew up too fast and there is no childhood actually. i already memorizing and practice multiplication and division since before kindergarden. i read a lot when i was before kindergarden. I at the point where no one would even imagine since i was small. thats is why i manage to excel in academic field untill i was in 3grade. after that i "jumped" class. i was shocked by a mathematical terms called "fraction". since then i was dropping my standard of education. untill i was at form 3. my pmr result wasnt bad. i got the offer to go to technic schools. my dad refuse so i stuck in tawau. and i was learning biology eventhough i was intrested in ICT field. but. i move on. after that i got to asasi mara. for a year and half. i study law. i was on every effort refusing to retake my muet exam since i know. if i flunk law. i can go to ICT field. however thanks to mara. i still stucked at law.and now im doing my own passion.

EMOTIONALLY

i was grew as the last child. my mother puts a lot of hope in me. so she pushed my capability at age 5. and to be in the family is hard. imagine. a child play with itself untill 5th grade. how thats for lonely? however this is life. i grew. i was emotionally change since i was 5th grade where i finally have a "wet dreams". since then i was one rebellious boy. i was involved in schools gang. i skipped class. and even smoke. i was turning to a person who i am today. and at form2. i meet my first love. n thats totally change everything. i get this wet and weak heart since then. i was starting to turn unstable and unable to think logically. i learn my temper since then. i learn to cry since then. and for god sake. i am a weaklings since then.

SOCIALLY

i was grew up too fast that i dont see the value of social life. i was a silent or rude person. since i turned to 5th grade. i still remember how others dont like me. the only person who be friend with me at the gang. of course. the conversation and activities was a little bit harsh. i learn to social in other side of life. since then i have more friends older than at the same age. and with that all of them does not really apply the tittle "abang,pakcik" or etc. so when i meet people. its awkward to call and respect others. i was streotyping others to be the same age as i calling "aku,kau". when i shake hands with others. i cant really kiss elders hand. i only do that for my family and her family. thats seems to be rude. i'm trying to change.

I was pushed beyond my ordinary capability since i was small. now i am 2 years ahead of a person that at the same age of me in academic. i was being a little too unstable in emotions. im a persons that may not be understandable in religous as i was once an astray. i was socially rude to others eyes. here and there. i was one fucked up living persons. that is me. i was an incomplete persons with extraordinary route.

im trying hard each days to learn and adapt my life for a better things a head though.

but recently i was tested by beloved god. in family crisis. in love crisis. in financial crisis. in social crisis. in drugs crisis. in academic crisis. all these things hit me in one month time frame which is one month before my final. i barely can walk since i was falling, but now i had to run. now that is one hard task to complete. and i see it in this way.

"GOD TEST ARENT MEANT TO BE PASSED. ITS MEANT TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING".

currently. im trying hard to picks up few things. and i need others supports. i really hope you can share some of your motivational words just to move me there. to make it in life. tq. :(

*me-i wish i was there. better ones than now who i am...

Aku Dan Kotak

2010-10-27T06:23:00.003+08:00

anggaplah yang gambar katun tu adalah aku, line hitam tu pulak kotak, dan aku sedang berada di dalamnya, ntah sejak bila ada.. aku cuba keluar… berjaya! tapi sekarang masuk balik lah… sebab aku takut...the end.

fake smiles

2010-10-27T05:37:00.003+08:00

buat mu aku penting ??

2010-10-26T22:55:00.003+08:00

Tidak pernah perasaan ku menjadi begitu penting...tidak pernah keinginan ku menjadi keutamaan... tidak pernah jiwa ku didahulukan dan tidak pernah hati ku mahu dibelai indah..

so be it... live with it...

Once true love was placed before me, but I didn’t cherish it. After I lost it, I regretted it. This is the most painful thing in the world… If heaven could give me another chance, I would say to that girl three words, ” I love you.” If I had to place a time limit on this love, I hope it would be 10,000 years.

others of my story [part 1]

2010-10-22T00:49:00.003+08:00

currently... im in a situation where things are falling apart, sedikit demi sedikit..selalu jatuh di sini dan di sana, inside and outside..dan ada yang bersuara dengan aku, cakap aku ni kebudak-budakan, but i'ts ok for me then i give you the story of my life from my other side...just to explain why. its not what i asked for being childish and stubborn. its just how i grew up eventually. its not like im blaming others for this... coz as everyone knew. i am a low self esteem person which tends to blame myself. so this is my route given by god and i cant make it the way others expect including family,lovers,friends and god..

Religously

i learned to perform my pray at age 4 or 5. i cant remember it well. i already finish the whole quran in standard3. i didnt even start learn to recite used iqra'. it starts with muqaddam straight ahead. and counting untill now. i repeated to finish the whole quran 3 times. however there is a black dot in my religious experience. i was a condemmed astray from form 4 till form 5 which i was an offical member of the satanism. thank god. i being reconverted by ustazah Fauziah in form 5. and untill now. im a muslims. i think subliminally. i was still at the point of searching god. and by god. he test me a whole lot of test...

Aku Tetap Aku

2010-10-22T00:40:00.004+08:00

Siapa bilang
Aku takut
Siapa bilang
Aku hanyut
Walau tinggi manapun aku tetap aku
Walau kecil manapun aku tetap berani
Pesan mama
Pesan papa
Usah lupa
Awal mula diriku

-music-

Siapa bilang
Aku semput
Siapa bilang
Aku kalut
Walau sukar manapun aku tetap aku
Walau getir manapun aku tetap di sini

-chorus-

Akupun tahu
Engkau bagai dedalu
Yang selalu
Lupakan diri
Kau lupakan bumi

Diapun tahu
Engkau memang penakut
Lempar batu
Sembunyi tangan
Kau kaki pengecut … Pengecut

me: i love this song so much just now...sigh so here we goes..

10-10-1981

2010-10-10T04:32:00.002+08:00

ever since e can remember, when leaning into an illuminating display of candles over a cake, ive said these very words at wish time... though superstition suggests you not tell others what you wish for, as it might not come true, ive always kept it to myself...

*me; happy birthday to me :P

stay fresh

mood aku down [ unknown II ]

2010-09-29T04:49:00.002+08:00

when no light shines, and no one there. this soul is corrupted, and thus heart is shadowed. hope is sealed, and dream is quenches. love is buried and faith is shattered. to that is why i shall mourned myself.

Love is Like Dota [ part II ]

2010-09-25T03:46:00.003+08:00

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wish you could turn back time

Love is like DOTA because you won't achieve anything alone or without cooperation

Love is like DOTA because once you start, you have to finish it

Love is like DOTA because everybody hates quitters

Love is like DOTA because you spend so much on items.

Love is like DOTA because you will be in grave danger if you don't know what your partner is capable of

Love is like DOTA because you can act as anyone you want to be.

Love is like DOTA because you'll never know who will be coming towards your way.

Love is like DOTA because if you want to surprise her, then go through the back door

Love is like DOTA because there are alot of distractions

Love is like DOTA because if you're in love or playing dota at that moment, you can't be disturbed at all

Love is like DOTA because you always ask help from your friends

Love is like DOTA because it brings barkada's together

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wanna be invisible

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wanna know what it's like switching places

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you perform better at night

Love is like DOTA because most of the players quit when they are having a hard time or they think they are going to lose

Love is like DOTA because it is time consuming

Love is like DOTA because you really can't do things by yourself

Love is like DOTA because you always have to be updated

Love is like DOTA because even though there are bugs, you don't know why they are there or what caused them

and i'm sick

2010-09-23T02:11:00.003+08:00

hari ni pun aku sakit.dah berapa hari aku sakit...sakit dada,sakit kepala...lelah,ampus...aktiviti harian ku pun terhad,susah mau fokus untuk buat something,sesak nafasku..aku cuma bertahan dan tidak buat apa-apa..petang tadi pergi klinik, kazen yang hantar...macam biasa doktor tanya itu ini,cek itu ini then bagi ubat..hurmm...malas la story, see? mood pun hilang..

when i’m sick, i want a glass of bubur telur (just like childhood) and then i want everyone to leave me alone... i hate attention, even from my mother, when i’m under the weather...

Insomania

2010-09-13T07:06:00.002+08:00

INSOMNIA...bisakah engkau tinggalkan aku seketika, just leave me for 4 hours and then you may comeback for the whole day long..i love you so, but not now,please leave me alone INSOMNIA…

*me: still,i'm awake..

mood aku down [ edisi raya ]

2010-09-11T23:38:00.001+08:00

Tuhan..
Kucuba nyalakan api..
Tuhan..
Api ku mati..

the end

selamat hari raya [flash back]

2010-09-10T19:33:00.005+08:00

kampung... rumah terbuka... ketupat... lemang... lepat..lepat? owh yang ni tiada haha.. rendang... dodol... baulu... ayam goreng... ayam masak kicap... lontong... lampu colok... lap lip...lilin.. bunga api... mercun.. mercun katak. meriam buluh. esctactic kids.... hitching a ride. air terjun. sungai…hutan kecik hutan besar..yada..yada..yada…haha..ok, concrete world…pagi ni bangun sangat-sangat lambat,lebih kurang 1.25pm...zzz,solat hari raya pun lama sudah habis...

*somehing to share

i liked this sms sent to be by my very close friend, brother and my sister. it goes like this…

Selamat Hari Raya .

Maaf zahir dan batin.

Forgive the wrongs and bads, yes.

Wishes, best.

Keep smiling, not more nor less.

Enjoy the food and celebration, I suggest.

Abg bila mau kawin ni? ;)

mungkin yang itu sahaja..and for me..here this..

selamat hari raya

2010-09-10T01:19:00.003+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF DIPINTA ANDAI ADA TERKASAR BAHASA, TERGURIS HATI, TERUMPAT, TERKEJI, ADA RASA TidAK PUAS HATI... OLEH ITU SAYA DENGAN RENDAH DIRI INGIN MENYUSUN SEPULUH JARI MEMOHON KEAMPUNAN DAN KEMAAFAN" the end...

life and think

2010-09-09T18:05:00.001+08:00

sampai bila kita mau jadi orang lain…?? kenapa mau ikut orang lain…?? kenapa kita tidak jadi diri kita..?? dan kita yang menjadikannya satu kelainan…..sedar la!

realize…

2010-09-08T17:35:00.001+08:00

thing that i need to report on...

Do U realize that you are wrong…???

Do U realize that other people suffered from your wrong doing…???

Do U ever think about paying back what you’ve done…???

Do U ever think about your actual condition from your exclusive conditions…???

Do U realize that U just like other people…?

Please…. wake-up “A” blow your fantasies away!!!

Wake-up…

Avoiding Enemies

2010-09-08T17:09:00.003+08:00

1. Respect every one and show respect even if it annoys you to do so.
2. Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.
3. Conduct your self with honor in all that you do.
4. Treat every one- even those that you utterly despise- with dignity.
5. Do good unto every man.
6. Take care and always be truthful even when it is not convenient to do so.
7. Avoid taking what is not yours for your own benefit.
8. Understand that it is wrong to commit infidelity or take a man’s woman from him, or if you are a woman never take another woman’s man.
9. Avoid becoming involved in matters that do not concern you.
10. Practice the golden rule and do not gossip or make false allegations.
11. Live peacefully with all men.
12. Cause no harm.
13. Keep secrets.

Sources from wikihow.com

Siaran 9 - Wings

2010-09-05T03:58:00.003+08:00

Andai engkau mahu lihat
Keindahan yang ku lihat
Pejamkanlah lima-lima
Inderamu seketika

Dan bukakan pula mata hatimu
Dikit demi sedikit kasih
Pasti kau kan menangis
Kerna gembira
Sangat gembira melihatnya

Sehingga terasa
Pernah bersua
Tapi dah terlupa
Bila masa
Dan di mana
Di antara
Sebuah mimpi
Dengan kenangan
Engkau menyesal
Dan bersyukur

Kesal kerna memandang
Hanya sebelah mata
Tak pandai menghargai

Barang yang berharga
Syukur diberi
Peluang yang kedua kali
Untuk buktikan
Biar hujan petir
Kilat menyambar
Biar lautan api menyimbah
Biar terancam
Nyawamu
Dihujung pedang
Tapi kau lepaskan
Janji kau berikan
Untuk setia sepanjang
Meniti dan meniti hari

Kau kembali ke sisinya
Impianmu
Yang sebenar-benarnya ...

....................................................................................................................................................................

*me: the song that i hear just now..the end.

perasaan ini

2010-09-04T04:16:00.005+08:00

i think we need to talk..

about what?

Owh.. that…

(then)..

i wish all the best for you.. all the best thing in the world just for you. i hate this part right here to make a decision whereby i know i cant do nothing.. this is a good news.. its a change .. yaa a drastic change..

blurr? for now? what we have right now…? why so many question before that time is up..

*me; jangan kacau, don't disturb

i'm not DEAD....but!!

2010-08-31T04:15:00.003+08:00

Okay, second lie in less than 113 words..i haven’t particularly been busy with anything, except maybe… oh… important stuff... like Dota, SDO and D2...more? sure my ps2 xD

*After a night of gaming, the morning sunrays often dance all over my retina...*sight* a dance of pain and great suffering...

*conversation is entirely imaginary, but I think something to that effect was said that night. If you were there and happen to read this blog… Can’t a guy have a little artistic license on his own goddamn blog? Huh? HUH???

*there are several terms in there that probably warrant explanation, but to understand it you’ll need to play it.. i would show you one of those pictures they have on cigarette packets and tell you that playing the games causes you to get those to keep you away from it...sorry can't tell you more..? why? no idea..

*me; Seems we have the same problems … haha

*another me; (Unable to grow up even after feeding growth potion) can also get rid of it. go search... It's pretty new.

another diablo

2010-08-31T04:02:00.002+08:00

i could actually just stop typing now... Iive said everything that matters! rejoice! diablo 3 will be playable on both sides of the globe this month! really great news if you ask me one... the reason for me getting excited, even though i am nowhere near either of them? leaks! information! footage! all of the above! what an eventful month this has turned out to be... i simply cannot wait..just in case, the end...

deep inside

2010-08-27T04:21:00.003+08:00

hari khamis.. sedikit bosan dengan keadaan, hari yang aku tidak berapa pasti tapi aku keluar sendiri dari rumah dan turun ke fujimart..tapi bukan mau story apsal ni.. tapi mau story pasal sesuatu yang menyentuh perasaan ku..

dari pondok menunggu bas dekat kg aku aku naik bas untuk kebandar, awan nampak sedikit mendung..senyap jak..dalam masa kurang 15 minit aku sampai di banadr..then terpaksa naik satu lagi bas, dalam masa bas ni menuju ke fuji mart hujan renyai mula turun..sampai jak di tempat aku tuju tu aku turun dari bas..still masi lagi hujan renyai-renyai...aku jalan ikut lorong depan bagunnan takut kena hujan hehe..masa jalan tu aku paling balik tempat hentian bas tmpt aku berenti tadi..aku tengok la satu kapel but yang sedang menunggu sesuatu.. aku pun ndak berapa pasti tapi apa yang aku pasti mereka sangat bahagia..

suami berjalan dihadapan, isteri pegang kuat belakang suami dia.. bejalan tanpa bertanya apa-apa, biar orang tengok apa pun mereka tidak nampak…

yang pasti mereka jalan jak kehadapan menunggu, teksi datang tidak naik walaupun sudahh ditanya, bas datang pun tidak naik.. yang paling menyentuh tu, bila si suami ke depan sikit kena hujan, mau kebelakang ada orang bersesak yang berhati batu sikit pun tidak pandang dorang dan tanya apa-apa ka kan… yang pasti siterinya pun turut serta… bersama ngan suami dia.. sngat muhibah… hidayah allah kepada mereka snagat besar… sama sama ndak sempurna sian, tapi menjadikan diri mereka sempurna…

cuma mungkin apa yang aku ceritakan ini tidak memberi kesan.. tapi aku teringat satu pesan, kemana pun jangan jalan seorang diri, sebab kalau jalan seorang diri bak orang buta, hala tuju kita sendiri sahaja, tapi kalau berdua, baru sempurna sebab kita ada tempat bergantung. Macam mereka jugak… aku sangat sedih sebab ndak ramai orang disekeliling aku dapat memandang sebab mereka hanya dpat melihat...

mood aku down [ replay ]

2010-08-25T02:38:00.002+08:00

here we goes again...same day same down, untuk entri yang sebelum ni aku terpaksa tangguh buat sementara..why? see tittle. Today was one of these days when everything goes wrong and i wish a had just stayed in bed dreaming of a better one, aku cakap tidur ka? for this 12hrs...i got no sleep one..kesian diri aku, begitu la apabila kebenaran tersingkap dan hati luluh tidak berkata *sight*

not enough time, not enough sleep, good friends in trouble… i guess it happens to everyone once in a while (mungkin).

ok..better

2010-08-24T05:17:00.003+08:00

lupa..balik dari Restoran Singgah Selalu tadi pukul berapa, and..i finally managed to get a proper amount of sleep.. while that sleep happened to occur between 2am and 5am, it still did still occur, and it did me a world of good....did i? bah..here we goes again..

*i get pretty sentimental with my bloggings sometimes, and there's always a strange amount of guilt associated with anytime i mention anything too personal..*sight* ..hurrmm [ rindu eh..mau call baby ka tidak ]

i've spent the past few days just sitting around my house, and that is a lousy thing..[ bored ]

*sebenarnya aku mau buat a philosophical post but, and also wanna do some random shoots but i suddenly need to do stuffs..dota? ya maybe..sebab dari awal tengah hari lagi selalu ajak main dan buat pada ketika itu jugak aku betul-betul tengah sibuk..sibuk duduk termenung, alone? yah...[ rindu eh..mau call baby ka tidak ]

5:14am
#facebook msg from cengceng puspa
"salam abang"
-wsalam.w.w...
"bla..bla..bla....for 5-10mins

adik minta tolong buat kan sikit kerja...[dalam situasi sekarang]

Nah... Just kidding...not pointing fingers here, wasn't their fault solely.. wish i can be more organized tho... sorry sis :(

ok enuf of that...kenapa benda ni tidak mau lari dari kepala pemikiran aku...apa dia? ada lah...rahsia! rahsia mana boleh kongsi xD..jokeing nia... haha [ rindu eh..mau call baby ka tidak ] ni la dia...mari kita faham sama-sama..
it's all about relations-ship that was i thinking just now...actualy..from this 2 days...hurmm [ bersambung ]

...........................................................................

block mental or mental block...

2010-08-24T00:38:00.003+08:00

i am staying up basically to finish my tutorial reports,which are supposed to be done in last night.. but i'm experiencing severe mental block! Grrr…….untuk mengubat jiwa luka sengsara,here are the pics that i have taken few minutes ago...pardon the quality,it’s a cheap sony ericsson phone…te..hee..he….

Dia Sudah

2010-08-23T12:17:00.003+08:00

” i sense someone is missing me la.”

” how do you know? “

” because b missed her too! ”

:)

” aku rasa macam ada orang rindukan aku lah.”

” macam mana tau? “

” sebab aku pun rindukan dia jugak! “

:)

to someone [a.k.a baby] :missing you..the end.

hurmm..like this, hate this

2010-08-23T01:21:00.003+08:00

masa tengah cer..cek itu privacy settings for all applications.. i mean on FB, i realised that i took a lot of quizzes, some of them are of the same type.. the funny thing is that, i mostly get different results... contohnya..

ni dua kuiz yang aku ambil..and... 'which animal do i resemble' dan satu lagi’ result was penguin while the other said im a fox (keputusan untuk app ni aku da remove daa heks)then...the most amusing ones were the personality/temperament-tests. three quizzes (okay, untuk dua pesonaliti tests and one temperament test. i know they are different, but lets be dramatic la ) and three results: phlegmatic, choleric and melancholic...bagus juga dapat keputusan yang berbeza, a reminder that one) these are just quizzes made for fun..

more? ya hear this one..but! i hate to talk about this one, but somehow...nvm...its so lame when taking few quiz on facebook and hate them so much when it get's freaking accurate. cb!!! below is some example of the freaking accurate quiz!

sand king took the quiz 'are you really over your ex' and the result is you're stuck in henny moy
*you think you know, but sorry, you have no idea.. you pretend like everything's okay, but truth is, you're still all torn up over your ex.. it's like you're living two separate lives~~ depressed at home and putting on a happy face... for others. casual hook ups and drunken nights aren't going to do the trick to help you get over it either.. you'v got to properly mourn the relationship before you can healthily move on from it...*sight*

sand king took what is truly in your heart and the result is darkness sadness or redemption *you chose what you wanted to be,so just hang in there...kena ingat jua, mesti ada biar pun kecil atau sedikit harapan ..means, at the end..

sand king took 'what behind your eyes' and the result is "broken"
*you seem to have had alot of chaos in your life causing you to feel secluded from others.. you have little confidence which doesn't help with socialising..and more you feel a sense of sadness most times which has most likely been from a tragic loss.. you have had your heart broken i...nto millions of pieces and you feel you cant trust a girl much so you go for small flings which last no longer than a month. you need to set your mind on a girl you like, get to know her first really well and slowly learn to love her before anything serious happens...[for this part, ya..its happening now]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hurm. its really annoying when its get too real... zzz

celaru

2010-08-22T21:31:00.004+08:00

just in case bah, siapa celaru ? kadangkala kecelaruan sering menghantui diri... dan yang gundah selalu berbisik di dalam hati... dan yang buruk selalu menjadi hiasan perasaan...

but!!

harus diingat, perasaan yang buruk itu mainan syaitan… bukankah syaitan yang selalu inginkan manusia binasa?

*me/ unknown .

Dota Is Like Love 2

2010-08-21T01:02:00.004+08:00

Dota Or Me ?

-Nortrom: When your beside me im silenced
-Enchantress: I get hurt when i go away from you
-Viper: I walk slowly when your near me
-Rikimaru: Even you cant see me just remember im always beside you
-Akasha: My heart always screams your name
-Rylai: You frostbite my heart
-Naix: Let me infest your world
-Doom Bringer: I cant do anything when your around
-Radiance: I get hurt when your around
-Rhasta: You got my heart shackled
-Pudge: I cant stay away from you
-Roshan: I will die for you

-item shop: I will give you everything
-Faceless Void: Time stops when im with you
-Terror Blade: I will give my life to you
-Mercurial: I will follow you

so.. the question:
1. u play dota too much?
2. care to explain? coz some of others dun play dota so much, good idea though..heks.

to someone [a.k.a baby] :if you a Fountain of life? You are my life..the end.

Story about Dota [ dedicate post ]

2010-08-21T00:39:00.000+08:00

Dota..apa tu?bunyi macam keropok rota jak kan?..hehehe..DotA sebenarnya ialah sebuah permainan keluaran blizzard entertainment yang popular diseluruh dunia. Game ini ialah costume game dari Warcraft.Game ini ialah game strategi, jadi kalau mau main mestilah la atur strategi baru boleh menang. Dota ni setaraf dengan game-game lama macam Counter-Strike dengan Starcraft. Siapa yang tidak kenal dengan Counter Strike, game famous masa kamu kecik-kecik dulu sampai la sekarang masih popular lagi game tu sampai dekat World Cyber Game pun dah jadi game rasmi mereka.

[Sejarah]

Sejarah Dota ni bermula pada tahun 2003 apabila pembuat costume map Dota, Eul’s memperkenalkan map “Defence of The Ancient”. Kemudian seorang lagi developer Steven Feak [a.k.a Guinsoo] memperkenalkan Allstars yang popular sampai la ke hari ini. Feak menambah berbagai-bagai benda kedalam Allstars antaranya resipi barang-barang dan Roshan [a.k.a Roslan]. Selepas versi 6.01, Feak menyerahkan Allstars kepada pengurusan baru iaitu Icefrogs [KatakAis] yang kekal sehinggalah ke hari ini.

KatakAis

Dota juga mempunyai laman web rasmi iaitu www.playdota.com. Pemain dari seluruh dunia boleh melawat ke laman web ini untuk mengetahui perkembangan terbaru tentang map DoTA dan info-info terkini dari Icefrogs.

Pada tahun 2005, Dota telah dimasukkan kedalam senarai dalam pertandingan Malaysia and Singapore World Cyber Games dan pada tahun 2006 pula, World Cyber Games Asian Championships turut memasukkan Dota kedalam senarai mereka.

WCG

[Evolusi]

Dari dulu hingga kini, Dota telah mengalami berbagai evolusi dari segi karakter, item dan penampilan peta. Kalau dulu, map tidak ada warna sangat, tidak colouring orang cakap. Tapi sekarang sua semakin menarik. Untuk versi 6.65,kalau korang bunuh Roshan, pemegang Aegis akan dapat topi santa claus dekat kepala hero diorang. Topi ni special untuk Chrismas sebab map ni di-release masa Chrismas akan datang. Dota sentiasa mengalami evolusi dan tidak akan berhenti.

Cube tengok map yang lama sampai la sekarang(6.68)

versi 5.84

: versi 6.27b

: versi 6.29b

versi 6.36

versi 6.55

versi kartun

versi 6.68

[Addicted]

Tak dinafikan Dota boleh menjadikan seseorang tu untuk addicted sampai boleh main berjam-jam lamanya. Adakala sampai 124 jam tanpa henti main Dota pengalaman ku hehehe. Tapi kalau diikutkan, game lain pon boleh menyebabkan seseorang tu ketagih untuk bermain macam Ragnarok, FarmVille, dan bermacam-macam lagi la. Yang penting terpulang kepada kita untuk mengawal diri sendiri.

[Video]

Bawah ni aku letak beberape link kalau korang mau tengok pro-pro main Dota macam mana..harap mau jadi pro macam diorang hehe

Luck Is No Excuse

Genoside Dota

Witchcraft

[Gambar]

Orang kata gambar menceritakan seribu perkataan kan. Jadi korang tengoklah gambar yang aku ambik dari Google dengan Deviantart ni. Enjoy...

need support

2010-08-18T04:25:00.002+08:00

bismillah walhamdulillah,

assalamualaikum, kadang-kadang rajin, kadang-kadang malas tu selalu-selalu datang menulis.. then, semangat menulis pun semakin luntur. aku harap dapat ‘mengimarahkan’ kembali blog ini... the end.

forgive and forgiveness

2010-08-02T23:46:00.004+08:00

I did a terrible thing to you. I spent a lot of nights wishing I could take it back. I’m not asking you to forgive me. I just want you to understand. – Flint Marko, Spiderman 3.

mudah? ya..mudah sebegitu, and ..simple as that and i dont want your forgiveness...and i am simply not begging you for that as i know i did not deserved one. I want you to understand. In fact you should be able to understand if you realize that we are not living in a perfect world.

rialitinya tidak seperti yang kita fikirkan, but lower expectation with some rationale will be good enough for an abandon relationship...thats the pure.

...........................................................................

*this images taken from Leanna Chong .....enjoy.

Tanpamu

2010-08-02T19:33:00.001+08:00

“Mungkin juga semuanya salah ku
Terlalu mengharapkan cinta
Tapi sepi yang merasuk kalbu
Membawa angan melayang”

Psychosocial

2010-07-27T14:21:00.002+08:00

I did my time and I want out, so abusive
Fate, it doesn't cut, the soul is not so vibrant
The reckoning, the sickening
Back at you, subversion, pseudo-sacred, pyscho virgin

Go tell your classes, go dig you graves
Then fill your mouth with all the money you will save
Sinking in, getting smaller again
Undone, it has begun, I'm not the only one

And the rain will kill us all
If we throw ourselves against the wall
But no one else can see
The preservation of the martyr in me

Psychosocial, psychosocial, psychosocial
Psychosocial, psychosocial, psychosocial

Oh, there are cracks in the road we lay
From when the devil fell, the secrets have gone mad
This is nothing new but would we kill it all
Fate was all we had

Who needs another mess, we could start over
Just look me in the eyes and say I'm wrong
Now there's only emptiness but I'm missing something
I think we're done, I'm not the only one

And the rain will kill us all
If we throw ourselves against the wall
But no one else can see
The preservation of the martyr in me

Psychosocial, psychosocial, psychosocial
Psychosocial, psychosocial, psychosocial

The limits of the dead!
The limits of the dead!
The limits of the dead!
The limits of the dead!

Fake and defenseless lie
(Psychosocial)
I tried to tell you first
(Psychosocial)
Your hurtful lies are giving out
(Psychosocial)

Can't stop the killing
(Psychosocial)
I can't help if it's hunting season
(Psychosocial)
Is this what you want?
(Psychosocial)
I'm not the only one

And the rain will kill us all
If we throw ourselves against the wall
But no one else can see
The preservation of the martyr in me

And the rain will kill us all
If we throw ourselves against the wall
But no one else can see
The preservation of the martyr in me

The limits of the dead!
The limits of the dead!

.....................................................................
credit to PrincessC for the lyric..thx

gelisah

2010-07-27T13:56:00.002+08:00

gelisanya hati penuh makna menyelimuti hari demi hari….
terus bergulir hati merana tersiksa menahan rindu entah mengapa……..gelisahnya hati berselimutkan rindu menitikkan air mata sendu…..
miris hati……
tidak setahun bersama, gelisahnya hati bertahun tidak menentu……mengharu biru….
duhai gelisah...gelisahnya hati *sight* kau pergi jua...the end..

3rd life's

2010-07-19T02:50:00.003+08:00

the tittle has nothing to do with anything i'm writing...

HOWEVER!

I sense someone is missing me.”

- How do you know?

- Because I missed her too! ”

:)

BUT

i have few things to report on.

-i've lost my heart. it was stolen by someone .....
-i've fail to impress my parents
-i've learn to let go my strong loving feeling towards few of my ex-gf.
-i'm loving someone else more than ever before.
-got new hair , even i don't like, it but to make someone happy ..there! haha...
-yup!! go to the cinema for the first time in two years ..zzzz
-and i...don't even bother with others critics and insults.

* my resident evil 4 cd got damaged due, buy or lend me can?..*hurmm* the end....

for how long ?

2010-07-04T06:40:00.002+08:00

Selalu-selalu dalam keadaan begini, penghujung? no idea..its suck to be stuck in this situation! *sight* yang selalu sakit begitu tidak berdaya untuk mengubah apabila kita benar-benar menginginkannya..dan aku telah melakukan banyak kesalahan dan aku aku terima segala hukuman sejak saat itu.. Apapun, rasa lega yang masih melegakan...dan aku sangat bersyukur untuk itu ..apa pun masi kacau bilau .....

yang pasti haru biru masih dekat dengan ku

Unforgiven 2 -by- Metallica

2010-06-14T05:42:00.004+08:00

Lay beside me, tell me what they've done
Speak the words I want to hear, to make my demons run
The door is locked now, but it's open if you're true
If you can understand the me, than I can understand the you.

Lay beside me, under wicked sky
Through black of day, dark of night, we share this pair of lives
The door cracks open, but there's no sun shining through
Black heart scarring darker still, but there's no sun shining through
No, there's no sun shining through
No, there's no sun shining

What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?

What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there?, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

Come lay beside me, this won't hurt I swear
She loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love again
She lay beside me, but she'll be there when I'm gone
Black heart scarring darker still, yes she'll be there when I'm gone
Yes, she'll be there when I'm gone
Dead sure she'll be there!

What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?

What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there?, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

(Solo)

Lay beside me, tell me what I've done
The door is closed, so are your eyes
But now I see the sun, now I see the sun
Yes now I see it!

What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?

What I've felt, what I've known
So sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there?, 'cause I'm the one who waits,
The one who waits for you

Oh what I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?
(So I dub thee unforgiven)

Oh, what I've felt
Oh, what I've known!

I take this key (never free)
And I bury it (never me) in you
Because you're unforgiven too

Never free
Never me
'Cause you're unforgiven too!

unknown mode

2010-06-14T05:37:00.001+08:00

"at 21 years old you still searching what you want in your life"
perkataan yang senang untuk ditanyakan pada diri sendiri tetapi sukar untuk dijawab oleh akal... macam baru jak semalam bulan january sekarang masuk akhir tahun dan ndak lama lagi masuk tahun yang baru. ~sigh~
sound so cool but still searching and searching...

It Goes to Waste.."but"

2010-06-14T05:26:00.003+08:00

suddenly I feel..empty, and i ask to know where..
why when I love someone it always goes to waste
and it seems like the world is turn around
empty?
wad?
why we still want to falling in love if we already know that someday it will broken?
Someday our heart gone fall into pieces
Maybe the pieces of live, love, lust or anything
r we stupid enough??
why r we doing it??
just to get hurt?
to feel love?
to get some experience?
but we know we always start from beginning
again n again...

me *love hurts love heals, the end.

I share You Something

2010-06-12T19:20:00.002+08:00

Yahh i'm going home now from my cousin house and i bought a box of old papers at an auction once... in that box, there was an envelope, very full and fat onw,somehow i don't know where from this postmarked that write sometime during dot.dot..dot. inside were 4-5 sheets of blank paper and folded into them was one more sheet that said, right in the center, sometime i got miss you”... bright red letters. Maybe written in lipstick...or i dono la..

.....

On the outside of the envelope, in purple ink stamped with a rubber stamp, were the words 'recipient deceased return to sender'

*i wonder what happened anywhere? ..far from home..

Love & Dota

2010-05-29T03:12:00.003+08:00

Love is like DOTA because you can act as anyone you want to be.

Love is like DOTA because you'll never know who will be coming towards your way.

Love is like DOTA because you spend so much on items.

Love is like DOTA because you will be in grave danger if you don't know what your partner is capable of

Love is like DOTA because if you want to surprise her, then go through the back door

Love is like DOTA because it is time consuming

Love is like DOTA because you really can't do things by yourself

Love is like DOTA because you always have to be updated

Love is like DOTA because even though there are bugs, you don't know why they are there or what caused them

Love is like DOTA because there are alot of distractions

Love is like DOTA because if you're in love or playing dota at that moment, you can't be disturbed at all

Love is like DOTA because you always ask help from your friends

Love is like DOTA because it brings barkada's together

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wanna be invisible

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wanna know what it's like switching places

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you perform better at night

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wish you could turn back time

Love is like DOTA because you won't achieve anything alone or without cooperation

Love is like DOTA because once you start, you have to finish it

Love is like DOTA because everybody hates quitters

Love is like DOTA because most of the players quit when they are having a hard time or they think they are going to lose..

*credit to littel jac snow, thx.

mesej pendek

2010-05-08T12:38:00.003+08:00

" selamat hari lahir sayang [nixie] , doa kita kamu bahagia disamping kuarga tercinta...maaf tiada hadiah atau yang istimewa.. ..dalam sujudku doa ku selalu bersama mu...lagi..jaga diri biar selamat balik nanti..jangan noti2 sana arrr...grrrr "

the end...

sedikit kecewa

2010-04-29T02:29:00.000+08:00

rasa rindu la pulak, rindu tentang semuanya, rindu kawan-kawan lama... nampaknya mereka semakin lupakan aku..maybe.. bukan apa lama tidak dapat sms, atau panggilan dari mereka. Dulu, bila saya cakap saya ada masalah, kami berbincang bersama.

Sekarang ni, bila saya dilanda masalah, tanggung seorang diri sambil saya dengar lagu... Rasa tenang sikit. saya doakan supaya Allah mengampunkan orang-orang yang membuatkan saya down macam ni dan meletakkan mereka jauh dari pandangan saya.

Saya percaya, bila kita ingatkan Allah, ingatkan pasal mati, ingatkan pasal Mak saya, ingatkan pasal adik-adik saya.. sikit-sikit masalah tu pergi.

Robbi yassir, wala tu ‘assir. [ Ya Allah, permudahkan lah urusanku]

Rahsia Hati suatu Daerah [ part 2 ]

2010-04-23T04:03:00.002+08:00

kegagalan yang masi lagi belum duduk dalam kecewa, masi lagi menerawang mencari punca hilang tanpa meletakan malang pada daerah nasib, daerah yang sering bikin aku bikin kita hilang tertib..hurmm ..essshh..ni la waktu-waktu yang aku kurang selesa..

dasat jugak cabaran ni, biarpun bukan untuk pertama kali tapi untuk sekian lama kira baru hehee.. then..kira cabaran awal ke dunia hati dan perasaan..semua macam tidak betul sua..hurmm selalu waktu-waktu begini pikiran dalam keadaan kosong, tenang di suatu daerah lain.. tapi masa ni bukan mau cakap ianya masalah atau problem sebab benda nie duduk berbuku di tengah-tengah antara problem dan truma..erkk..? ok aku kompius pasal ni..macam mana aku mau dicribe? tidak tau sebab aku pun selalu faield owhh..istilah yang belum berpunya nama yang hanya berpancak antara realiti dan nyata...

hilang akal hanya hati yang bertanya-tanya dan kalbu yang buka cerita dan ? lidah ? hilang arah untuk bernada domba..

me* hilang punca badan merana, menurut hati jiwa berapi...tidak terlindung rasa yang sedang murung dan hanya Pada Mu Ya Rahman ku panjatkan mohon...the end.

sad but truth

2010-04-20T04:55:00.004+08:00

Hey I’m your life
I’m the one who takes you there
Hey I’m your life
I’m the one who cares
They, They betray
I’m your only true friend now
They, They’ll betray
I’m forever there

I’m your dream, make you real
I’m your eyes when you must steal
I’m your pain when you can’t feel
Sad but true

I’m your dream, mind astray
I’m your eyes while you’re away
I’m your pain while you repay
You know it’s sad but true, sad but true

You, You’re my mask
You’re my cover, my shelter
You, You’re my mask
You’re the one who’s blamed
Do, Do my work
Do my dirty work, scapegoat
Do, Do my deeds
For you’re the one who’s shamed

I’m your dream, make you real
I’m your eyes when you must steal
I’m your pain when you can’t feel
Sad but true

I’m your dream, mind astray
I’m your eyes while you’re away
I’m your pain while you repay
You know it’s sad but true,sad but true

I'm your dream,
I'm your eyes,
I'm your pain

I'm your dream
I'm your eyes
I'm your pain

You know it's sad but true

Hate, I’m your hate
I’m your hate when you want love
Pay, Pay the price
Pay for nothing’s fair

Hey, I’m your life
I’m the one who took you there
Hey, I’m your life
And I no longer care

I’m your dream, make you real
I’m your eyes when you must steal
I’m your pain when you can’t feel
Sad but true

I’m your truth, telling lies
I’m your reasoned alibis
I’m inside open your eyes
I’m you

Sad but true

*the other songs that kept me standing right now.

bodoh ??

2010-04-20T04:12:00.002+08:00

yang sedang berlaku sekarang ni buat aku flash balik tentang kejadian semalam, maksud aku yang sudah lepas-lepas.. aku fikir-fikir balik, bagaimana kita saling mengenali dan kemungkinan yang logik jika suatu hari nanti dapat bersama... dan ayat paling tajam aku tengah fikir sekarang dan selama aku ??? jatuh kepada

*kau baik kau jahat kau buat apa pun, kau mesti tidak bodoh*
kalau seseorang itu berkata begitu kepada kita...?? bagi aku kita sama-sama faham ianya sebuah jenaka.. dan ianya memang kelakar...tapi tapi tidak tahu kenapa..hati aku yang bertanya begitu then fikir balik tentang tu. aku rasa air mata aku bakal turun.. tapi untuk menyedapkan hati, aku menipu hakikat... dan sekarang...? aku rasa...

BODOH SEKALI..

pernah jua terfikir seketika untuk menjadikannya satu motivasi seperti ketika aku masih di menenggah.. yang mana seorang seorang guru ni pernah cakap dengan aku yang aku dapat A dlm subjek dia adalah nasib semata mata... but...

BODOH 2 KALI..

ndak tau kenapa aku tidak mampu mengubah perspektif negatif kepada sebuah motivasi. aku betul2 menangis tentang sesuatu yang berlaku sekarang. dan aku begitu terguris.. bukan kerana persoalan guru tersebut. tapi kerana diri sendiri.. aku rasa aku seorang yang lemah lagi gagal..dan...

UNTUK BODOH YANG KE-3 KALI.

aku menangis..jua ndak dapat menahan rasa, sesuatu itu mungkin dan mungkin betul cakap kawan ku..

KAU NDAK SEKUAT YANG KAU SANGKA....

nowadays ?

2010-04-18T09:40:00.000+08:00

nowadays things keep wandering in this head...then it just,ok here this thing.. they are so random and puzzled me. i’d felt like screaming but can’t say it out loud and it requires some courage, you know...and i have none...ZzzzZ!

Everyone seems so far away... no, no, don’t get me wrong. i’m not letting my guard off and becoming such a weaker, spilling everything on them... nope! This is just a matter of me; trying to escape from my own cruel world.

at the end, i ended up in this small little space and after all i’d found one... the room; a perfect tiny place for escapes.. the place to hide those sorrows and troubles. i keep playing, dota, dota, dota and yeah.. maybe a bit enjoying myself playing the stuffs, or maybe reading news, and updating common issues.

One thing not to forget, I’m trying my best to always put a simple smile on this face..haha, yeah.. you may think this is to cover the feeling i’d felt or hiding my true expressions. but, you know.. as time goes by i don’t think i can become the old me... experiences really taught a lot and true, the feeling of hatred is blooming...

and....it become, the end.

suatu daerah yang paling aku takuti

2010-04-18T03:12:00.000+08:00

bila sesuatu itu datang....yang paling aku takuti

bila ghurur menyinggah di hati,tertipu dgn kebaikan sendiri yg telah dilakukan
dan yang paling aku bimbangi
bila aku merasakan aku lebih baik drpd semua org
da yang paling aku takuti
bila aku sering menyalahkan org lain
dan bila aku sering memperkecil amal org lain
da bila aku merasakan diriku ini sahaja yg melaksanakan tarbiyah sebaik mungkin
dan yang paling aku bimbangi
bila hamasahku semakin menurun dan kemudian lenyap ditelan arus dunia
dan bila imanku jatuh merudum dengan dosa yang menimbun
dan bila hatiku keras hitam legam kerana tiada cahayaMu lagi yg sudi menyinggah
dan yang paling aku geruni
"Matiku" dalam sia-sia
dan amalku hangus tidak mampu menjadi bekalan di alam sana
dan segala yg makruf tidak mampu menyuluh cahaya di dlm kuburku nanti
Nyalaan api neraka menerjah ke muka dan seluruh badanku
dengan timbangan dosa lebih berat drpd pahala

Ya Ilahi,
aku malu dgnMu..aku manusia yg xkenal untung..
lindungilah aku dr putus asa..
lindungilah aku dr kemaksiatan..
aku merayu ya Rabb
hadirkanlah sakinahMu dlm hidupku
aku inginkan halawatul iman yg menyinari perjalanan hidup ini
Ya Allah!
balutlah hatiku yg terluka ini dgn maghfirahMu
akan terusku toreh segala titik hitam yg menyelaputi hatiku ini
supaya ia tidak lagi hadir mengotori qalb ini.
Ya Rabb..
hanya pdMu..hanya krnMu. hanya Engkau Ya Allah..
daerah yg selalu singgah di benakku..

T_T

2/17/2010 [11:30pm]

salah cakap

2010-04-16T04:56:00.000+08:00

kejadian siang tadi:

nai : waaa!! banyaknya roadtax ni kereta, roadtax dah mati cabut lah..

pakcik aku : susah kali mau dicabutnya..

nai : mana ada cucah, ditampal pakai selotape jak..

*blur blur blur*

kejadian sebentar tadi:

zai : laparlah..

nai : pi lah masak nestum, buat kau air..

*blur blur blur*

B untuk ?

2010-04-16T04:47:00.003+08:00

Bodoh. Budus. Bongok. Bongek. Bengong. Bangang. Bahlol. Badigol. Busuk. Bladihel. Bladiful. Baral. Bengap. Bajingan.

kesian B..

Quote III

2010-04-16T04:43:00.000+08:00

"Ada benda duit boleh beli..

Yang lain..

Hanya perlukan keyakinan diri yang tinggi.."

[ Smile ]

2010-04-15T09:20:00.000+08:00

Buat mereka yang sedang berduka.... xD

La Tahzan! innallaha ma’ana

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

*westlife: smile

suatu Daerah that we all know

2010-04-14T04:47:00.000+08:00

Kadang-kadang apa yang kita rancang, tidak terjadi seperti apa yang kita duga.
Bila tidak menjadi, jangan kita simpan dendam atau benci.
Jadikan sebagai satu pengalaman atau pengajaran yang berguna.
Untuk kita baiki diri.
Jangan ada rasa sesal.
Jangan ada rasa sedih.
Sebab semua yang terjadi, ada puncanya.
macam kata Anang “Pernahku mencintaimu… tapi tak begini!!!!” haha..

me: betul

“trust is the most important element in relationship"

me: pandai

yes, its true somehow I am so frustrated. yes, its true somehow I regret. yes, its true I am so excited to meet her again. yes, its true we both still can feel the past. yes, its true we both still like each other. yes, its true we both made such a good friendship. yes, its true we know we could be so good together… BUT!

we also know that we both already have our own life to live for. we both know that faith give us a different path for a reason. we both know we only share the past and we both know where we are now.

i know..we know,and thats all I can say. xD

*kemarin itu biar besejarah, esok itu biar jadi harapan dan hari ini biar jadi pemberian.

tapi janganlah khianati kepercayaan itu…

me: we know...the end.

Apa sebenarnya yang kau Cari ??

2010-04-13T23:51:00.000+08:00

KANGEN BAND

Sejenak ku terdiam dan membisu, Membuatku lelah dan tanpa arah,
Cuba mengertilah cuba fahamilah, Erti cinta sesungguhnya.

Dan Letakkan hatimu di sini, Ku berjanji kau takkan kusakiti,

Sejuk sepi terang dan tanyakan bintang, Hanya kaulah yang ku sayang.
Kulatih kau terbang di atas awan, Agar kau tegar dan tak terkalahkan,
Jadilah jagoan seperti yang kuinginkan, Agar dapat ku banggakan.

Namun sikapmu kini telah berubah, Membuatku resah dan serba salah,

Kau berdiam diri membuat nadiku berhenti, Katakanlah hei kekasih..

Cuba kau fikirkan, Cuba kau renungkan, Apa yang kau inginkan telah aku lakukan.. Cuba kau fikirkan, Cuba kau renungkan, Tanya bintang-bintang hanya kaulah yang ku sayang.. Cuba kau katakan apa yang kau inginkan, Apa yang kau butuhkan telah aku berikan..

Cuba kau katakan apa yang kau inginkan?

m'i ?

2010-04-12T18:19:00.000+08:00

It is weird when people keep saying that I was changed.
I AM NOT..!!!
So yeah. That was some random-stupid-not true accusation. Bullshit.
Penat bah!
Well, if that's what you want go ahead. Talk about me more. I'll be glad. Or else. Go jerking or wanking or fucking yourself! Get some porn treats or something. I'm so over it!
Diu~~

nasib ?

2010-04-11T05:22:00.000+08:00

layan bosan, tambah mata yang tidak boleh tidur sejak 37jam yang lalu, dan nak tahu apa yang aku buat, mari...lepas habis layan game keramat aku googling benda-benda pelik. dan kemudian aku terjumpa website karangkraf...biar pun dah lama,tapi.. ni gambar yang menarik minat aku..

ha!!..betul la ni, cakap horoskop ni... memang patut pun aku pergi bercuti dan merayap! haha...kemudian aku jumpa pencarian dewi remaja...dan nak tau sapa-sapa dewi remaja paling best? ni top 12 yg aku suka... haha.

pusingan1
no.06
nurlela bakar
5'5 1/2
32-24-36
19 tahun
kuala lumpur

pusingan2
no.24
anis nabilah noh
5'3
32-26-39
19 tahun
kota bharu,kelantan

pusingan3
no.48
nurhidayah zari
4'11 1/2
32-27-34
22 tahun
kota tinggi,johor

pusingan4
no.65
durra sabira aqilah kamaruddin
5'2
34-27-36
18 tahun
segamat,johor

pusingan5
no.90
nora fazlina abu bakar
5'3
34-28-36
22 tahun
kelana jaya, selangor

pusingan6
no.119
nor amira binti mohd amin
5'5
34-25-34
17 tahun
kedah

pusingan7
no.136
shaqira edora ghaffar
5'3
31-29-37
18 tahun
nilai, negeri sembilan

pusingan8
no.155
nur shuhada harih
5'2 1/2
34-27-38
17 tahun
kuala lumpur

pusingan10
no.183
nik nurul diyanah nik mod amin
5'4
34-26-35
21 tahun
selangor

pusingan10
no.200
amy ameera mohd zahid
5'4
32-27-32
17 tahun
selangor

pusingan 11
no.209
norria adelina abdullah
5'2
30-24-33
22 tahun
kedah

pusingan 12
no.226
nur risteena munim
5'1 1/2
36-24-36
2o tahun
pulau pinang

*daripada jadi dewi remaja baik jadi dewi aku..haha

something ?

2010-04-10T22:20:00.000+08:00

" apa bila sesuatu keputusan itu satu pilihan yang kita telah buat, tiada apa lagi teka-teki untuk kita patah balik, and everything after that is a quest. Whether or not you end up happy with your choice is not that important as long as you really know what you want in your life! After all, you know that you have the courage to stick on your choice rather than being push here and there without any clue on what you really want in life..."

*genggam api biar jadi bara dan bara kita genggam biar jadi arang

Story about Dota [ part 5 ]

2010-04-09T21:34:00.000+08:00

salam,ok..after 2-3 days blog not udate so here we goes,one by one, my mid test show up and postpone my guide. I almost finished Mirana’s guide, already taken the SS how good elune, Starfall rain and a good leap. Anyway, about the comment, yes i know nowadays there should no killing hero pick Basher, especially Rikimaru. But since i already have good dps, so i try another build and it’s success. Okay. it should be no basher but Butterfly or MKB, but i have basher for fun only (My team will surely win at that time). Trust me, don’t get it if the game goes serious since Rikimaru need a time for farming and basher is a waste of money:D

pulang la pulang, aku tidak jemput, biarla terang, janganla ribut

2010-04-07T20:20:00.000+08:00

minggu ni..

hampir setiap hari hujan..

Musim hujan mungkin..

Dulu, masa aku kecik-kecik..

waktu-waktu petang memang confirm akan keluar beriadah..

biar panas macam mana pun..

Mesti keluar jua..

Padahal bukan buat apa-apa pun..

naik basikal pusing-pusing kampung..

Main kuda longkang..

Main kejar dan dikejar..

Tapi bila tengok langit mendung gelap macam mau hujan..

Memang potong..

huh, bosan duduk rumah petang-petang, tiada aktiviti..

tiada rasa feel kanak-kanak betul..

Masa tu mak aku ada kasi satu mentera nak halau hujan..

Mak aku cakapla, dulu masa dia kecik-kecik..

Kalau hari mau hujan mesti dia baca mentera ni..

Bila tau jak pasal mentera ni..

Tiap kali mau hujan..

mesti aku baca dengan penuh harapan..

waktu tu budak-budak lagi..

Tidak fikir apa sua..

Janji dapat kuar bermain..

Tapi memang jaranglah berjaya mentera ni..

Setakat nak sedapkan hati jak..

Kalau mau hujan tu..

Hujan jugak.

Story about Dota [ hate blademail ]

2010-04-07T05:14:00.000+08:00

Just now i played with krobelus, Axe (enemy) got his blade mail. I wonder what blade mail can do with my ghost. But the answer come so fast like the wind blow, when Exorcist blow up, He activates his blade mail and the damage that ghost done, returned back to me. Oh god, i wonder, did icefrog know this?it’s really unfair where you can’t control all ghost, they attack after i click some enemy. It’s really annoying that you can’t do anything with that. But i don’t know if i hex him, did blade mail damage returned also?

about Lion, i don’t like way of Lion with Dagon. He can’t keep his mana up in every second, especially in battle, you need to predict where your skill goes to, and how much the mana cost. Since Lion really need mana to control, Impale (160 manacost or nearly like that), Voodoo (200), and finger of death (520 at lvl 2 or something like that), i assumed that you don’t keep your mana pool to 1000, exception if you get stats. But assuming with dagon 3 at lvl 11 until 13. You waste so much mana. When your enemy see your mana pool can’t fit up your survivability to do Impale Voodoo, that’s your dead time.

*blademail dame pain..the end.

Rahsia Hati Suatu Daerah [ unknown ]

2010-04-05T22:45:00.000+08:00

Rahsia, sesuatu yang patut kita selalu bersyukur

Kadangkala Dia hilangkan sekejap matahari.
Dia turunkan hujan dan ribut.
Tercari-carilah kita sang mentari.
Tapi tanpa kita sedari,
Dia nak bagi kita pelangi..

*yang ni aku selalu jumpa di mana-mana dari dahulu, dan kita semua tahu.

Hati, like 7 wonders of the world

. to see.

. to hear.

. to touch.

. to taste.

. to feel.

. to laugh.

. and to love as well as to be love.

Daerah,

aku hayunnkan rasa ini jauh-jauh
biar terus bersemadi
pada nikmat yang
yang berbatas ini..

biar melayang terbawa
dengan tali terpacak tetap
pada daerah yang berpijak nyata,
daerah yang masi belum lupa
untuk berpesan tanya.

*bila sastra berbahasa..haha.

.............................................................................

me: apa yang aku cuba sampaikan di sini ? unknown.

Cinta dan Lelaki

2010-04-05T19:05:00.000+08:00

hubungan cinta seorang lelaki itu adalah bagaikan seekor semut di atas sebijik tayar lori.. semut itu percaya yang tayar adalah sesuatu yang besar dan best biarpun dia tidak tahu kejadiannya, dan apabila lori itu mula bergerak dan tayar itu mula berpusing semut itu boleh agak ada sesuatu yang sedang berlaku dan sehinggalah dia dipusarkan 180 darjah kebawah dan dipenyekkan;

* persoalan yang cuma timbul dekat otak kecilnya itu ada - huh?

Edisi Senang Hati

2010-04-05T03:54:00.000+08:00

siang tadi, aku mengalami halusinasi. Sewaktu hendak melintas jalan, aku terjumpa seekor katak yang boleh bercakap. Atau sekurang-kurangnya, aku RASA dia boleh bercakap.

“Kalau kau cium aku,” blng katak itu. “Aku akan bertukar menjadi puteri yang cantik, lepak dengan kau seminggu, temankan kau seminggu main dota dan kau nak belasah aku tang mana pun belasahlah.”

Aku tersenyum lalu menempatkan katak tersebut ke dalam beg.

“Eee, kau dengar tidak ni?” soal katak itu. “Puteri yang cantik, ok? Seminggu plak tu!”

“Oiii,” aku memotong, pantas. ... a talking frog? – thats cool.”

*line dah ok da.. xD

woman and courage

2010-04-03T03:28:00.002+08:00

aku suka wanita yang berani, aku suka wanita yang punya semangat juang tinggi, aku suka wanita yang kuat dan tabah, aku suka wanita yang pandai berdikari.

Kesimpulan nya... aku ndak suka wanita yang LEMBIK!

...........

I love the Lord Of The Ring trilogy. I love to watch it again and again. I love it. There are one scene i like the most which is in the battle of Gondor. The army of Rohan preparing for a battle to aid Gondor which heavily under attack by Mordor. Theoden King ride to give such a dramatic speech.

Eomer. Take your Èored down the left flank. Gamling, follow the King’s banner down the center. Grimbold, take your company right, after you pass the wall. Forth, and fear no darkness! Arise! Arise, Riders of Theoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered! A sword day… a red day… ere the sun rises!

Ride now!… Ride now!… Ride! Ride to ruin and the world’s ending!

Death! Death! DEATH!!!!!

I love to watch how Eowyn react to this speech. There are fear for sure and it takes a lot of courage to answer such a demanding call. Eowyn choose to devote her life for the great battle of her lifetime even the outcome was completely uncertain.

Once you decide on what you really want, there are no more turning back. Everythings after that is a quest. Whether or not you end up happy with your choice is not that important as long as you really know what you want in your life! After all, you know that you have a courage to stick on your choice rather than being push here and there without any clue on what you really want in life.

Kudos to Eowyn for being my woman of courage! Heheh..

Aku Kau & Dota [ Facebook VS Dota ]

2010-04-02T03:55:00.000+08:00

I love dota, but not so much..berbanding dengan laktop aku, aku sayang laktop aku sebab my friends live in it.
ok, here we goes again..

Situasi di Facebook

People: Oooo. Nampak aku, kau tidak tegur. Macam ni la kawan.
aku: Erk? eh, betul ka nie? bila masa kita kawan?
People: Kita kawan la. Dalam facebook.

Situasi di Dota

People: Oiiii! muahahahah.. Aku ingat kau sudah mati, hidup lagi rupanya.
aku: Ciss..aku fikir siapa..haha
People: Sudah-sudah la dengan dota, insaflah budak.dota tu tidak bawa kau ke mana, sampai bila mau jadi taik Dota nie..haha.
aku: mau buat maacam mana, di situ dunia aku. xD

Quotes:
Anda semua tetap kawan-kawan aku.

Moral:

* Facebook sedaya mungkin mengorek rahsia peribadi anda. Sila google ‘facebook dan Cia.

* DotA juga tidak baik untuk kesihatan sosial anda.

Quote II

2010-04-02T03:00:00.000+08:00

Betul, apa yang orang cakap. Hargai apa yang kita sayangi bila mereka ada di depan kita. Ungkapkan sayang semasa mereka mengharapkannya. Tunjukkan setia semasa mereka ada di sisi. Sebab bila mereka sua tiada nanti, sekurang-kurangnya mereka tahu yang mereka dihargai...

*jangan terlalu berharap..

Worth It

2010-04-01T22:11:00.001+08:00

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.

So love the people who treats you right,

forget about the ones who don’t.

Believe that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance, take it.

Nobody said it’d be easy,

they just promised it’d be

worth it.

Story about Dota [ part 4 ]

2010-03-31T19:27:00.000+08:00

During the battle, chasing someone with throw Storm Bolt or Magic Missile is common now. But, due to Warcraft 3 engine, rendering Stun time can’t be manipulated, slow skill become the answer. We can stack many slow skill such as Poison Touch, Frost Nova, Degen Aura etc and there isn’t any reduction at all for those skill. Compare to stun, the longest stun ever around 3.75 sec, if i’m not mistaken, Magnus Reverse Polarity can do that. But, it’s an ultimate skill, compare it to single skill like any other slower skill. But, both of slower and stuner can be countered by one thing. Still Black King Bar is the real answer for this problem the end.. xD

me: slower batter then stuner..

Mood Aku Down [ unknown part 2 ]

2010-03-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

#Part 1

puspa: “sedihnya hari ni.. Sedih sangat2.” [kata-kata puspa 3 jam yang lalu, dalam SMS.

Aku diam jak,tidak replay msg dia ...?? dan sekarang aku sedikit resah.
back then i know its hard and it was not easy for me neither... i know its seems like i ran away but the truth is i know exactly what is going on in your little confusing heart..back to puspa here we goes.. If you really believe in love, think again. Because i dont think so! Responsibility first, love will come then. Insyaallah!

#Part 2

”hello, assalamualaikum abg. buat apa?“

ndada, tengah repair laktop, adapaitu?

”tiada.. Tanya khabar jak, di kampung sudah ni abg.. “

Owh..hurmm..

”tiada orang di rumah jadi kuar kejap jalan sendiri-sendiri. “

Emmm..malam, jalan sendiri-sendiri? di mana?

”Dekat-dekat sini jak. Tenangkan fikiran.. “

owh...

” Emmm.. “

….. silent.. silent.. and silent …..

” Ok lah abg.. saja call.. tanya khabar! “

OK..
*dalam hati: be safe then.

************

enough is enough..aku selalu benar terjebak dalam situasi serupa...but,
sebabnya aku terlalu baik untuk membiarkan diri aku hanyut ditelan dilema perasan orang sehingga kadang-kadang aku sendiri lemas diperangkap dilema hati dan perasaan...ya, aku tahu
aku tahu kau perlukan teman, aku tahu kau perlukan seseorang, aku tahu kau perlukan tempat mengadu, aku tahu kau perlukan sokongan, aku tahu kau perlukan nasihat serta dorongan untuk kuat dan tabah ..but you see, Fair enough, for that, i did what i had to do. Luckily the offer came just about the right time. I know back then you dont think its a good idea but i hope now you know..

*now you know and its OK for you to ignore me as i know you dont need me anymore!

#Part 3

sedih tunggu khabar qaseh, buat apa? sehat2 juga? sudah makan belum? makan apa? kenyang ka juga? haiz...

*reality might be unpleasant but lower expectation with some rationale will be good enough for an abandon relationship.