31.10.10

Tagging On Facebook






bangun tidur jak, bukak fb...ada 100 atau mungkin lebih notification...wah@wow rasa diri anda hot gila lah masa tu...sekali bila bukak, ada orang tag nama anda dalam gambar...zzzz dan 99 notification tadi, komen untuk gambar itu...gambar yang tiada kena mengena langsung. Perasaan anda?


Pendapat:
Anda mungkin berpendapat.. kalau anda mahu buat kerja cenggitu, sehari mungkin anda akan tag nama orang di 100 gambar...namun harus tau dan sedar itu semua sia-sia...anda tidak mahu publisiti murahan...

sama-sama la kita faham ya..


"love is like dota"
wise move, never feed the troll.

30.10.10

musim bola?




dan aku hairanla napa aku tidak minat bola… mungkin aku tidak suka akan sesuatu yang ‘semua orang suka’ dan membuatkan aku tidak suka permainan yang perlu berebut rebut… nanti bola itu rasa dirinya hebat kerana 22 orang berebut berkejaran kerana beliau.


dan kerana semua orang suka, ndak semestinya aku tiada pilihan untuk kata ‘tidak.’ biarpun pelukis itu sangat terkenal dan artwork beliau dijual dengan harga RM22 juta pun, aku boleh cakap aku tidak suka… then walaupun 10 ribu kawan2ku semuanya meminati Justin Bibir, tidak bermakna aku harus sukakan homosex shota itu…heks


taste masing masing lah kawan… xD

current mood

others of my story [ end ]




ACADEMICALLY

i grew up too fast and there is no childhood actually. i already memorizing and practice multiplication and division since before kindergarden. i read a lot when i was before kindergarden. I at the point where no one would even imagine since i was small. thats is why i manage to excel in academic field untill i was in 3grade. after that i "jumped" class. i was shocked by a mathematical terms called "fraction". since then i was dropping my standard of education. untill i was at form 3. my pmr result wasnt bad. i got the offer to go to technic schools. my dad refuse so i stuck in tawau. and i was learning biology eventhough i was intrested in ICT field. but. i move on. after that i got to asasi mara. for a year and half. i study law. i was on every effort refusing to retake my muet exam since i know. if i flunk law. i can go to ICT field. however thanks to mara. i still stucked at law.and now im doing my own passion.


EMOTIONALLY

i was grew as the last child. my mother puts a lot of hope in me. so she pushed my capability at age 5. and to be in the family is hard. imagine. a child play with itself untill 5th grade. how thats for lonely? however this is life. i grew. i was emotionally change since i was 5th grade where i finally have a "wet dreams". since then i was one rebellious boy. i was involved in schools gang. i skipped class. and even smoke. i was turning to a person who i am today. and at form2. i meet my first love. n thats totally change everything. i get this wet and weak heart since then. i was starting to turn unstable and unable to think logically. i learn my temper since then. i learn to cry since then. and for god sake. i am a weaklings since then.

SOCIALLY

i was grew up too fast that i dont see the value of social life. i was a silent or rude person. since i turned to 5th grade. i still remember how others dont like me. the only person who be friend with me at the gang. of course. the conversation and activities was a little bit harsh. i learn to social in other side of life. since then i have more friends older than at the same age. and with that all of them does not really apply the tittle "abang,pakcik" or etc. so when i meet people. its awkward to call and respect others. i was streotyping others to be the same age as i calling "aku,kau". when i shake hands with others. i cant really kiss elders hand. i only do that for my family and her family. thats seems to be rude. i'm trying to change.


I was pushed beyond my ordinary capability since i was small. now i am 2 years ahead of a person that at the same age of me in academic. i was being a little too unstable in emotions. im a persons that may not be understandable in religous as i was once an astray. i was socially rude to others eyes. here and there. i was one fucked up living persons. that is me. i was an incomplete persons with extraordinary route.

im trying hard each days to learn and adapt my life for a better things a head though.


but recently i was tested by beloved god. in family crisis. in love crisis. in financial crisis. in social crisis. in drugs crisis. in academic crisis. all these things hit me in one month time frame which is one month before my final. i barely can walk since i was falling, but now i had to run. now that is one hard task to complete. and i see it in this way.


"GOD TEST ARENT MEANT TO BE PASSED. ITS MEANT TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING".

currently. im trying hard to picks up few things. and i need others supports. i really hope you can share some of your motivational words just to move me there. to make it in life. tq. :(


*me-i wish i was there. better ones than now who i am...

27.10.10

Aku Dan Kotak






anggaplah yang gambar katun tu adalah aku, line hitam tu pulak kotak, dan aku sedang berada di dalamnya, ntah sejak bila ada.. aku cuba keluar… berjaya! tapi sekarang masuk balik lah… sebab aku takut...the end.

fake smiles

26.10.10

buat mu aku penting ??


Tidak pernah perasaan ku menjadi begitu penting...tidak pernah keinginan ku menjadi keutamaan... tidak pernah jiwa ku didahulukan dan tidak pernah hati ku mahu dibelai indah..

so be it... live with it...

Once true love was placed before me, but I didn’t cherish it. After I lost it, I regretted it. This is the most painful thing in the world… If heaven could give me another chance, I would say to that girl three words, ” I love you.” If I had to place a time limit on this love, I hope it would be 10,000 years.

22.10.10

others of my story [part 1]

currently... im in a situation where things are falling apart, sedikit demi sedikit..selalu jatuh di sini dan di sana, inside and outside..dan ada yang bersuara dengan aku, cakap aku ni kebudak-budakan, but i'ts ok for me then i give you the story of my life from my other side...just to explain why. its not what i asked for being childish and stubborn. its just how i grew up eventually. its not like im blaming others for this... coz as everyone knew. i am a low self esteem person which tends to blame myself. so this is my route given by god and i cant make it the way others expect including family,lovers,friends and god..



Religously

i learned to perform my pray at age 4 or 5. i cant remember it well. i already finish the whole quran in standard3. i didnt even start learn to recite used iqra'. it starts with muqaddam straight ahead. and counting untill now. i repeated to finish the whole quran 3 times. however there is a black dot in my religious experience. i was a condemmed astray from form 4 till form 5 which i was an offical member of the satanism. thank god. i being reconverted by ustazah Fauziah in form 5. and untill now. im a muslims. i think subliminally. i was still at the point of searching god. and by god. he test me a whole lot of test...

Aku Tetap Aku



Siapa bilang
Aku takut
Siapa bilang
Aku hanyut
Walau tinggi manapun aku tetap aku
Walau kecil manapun aku tetap berani
Pesan mama
Pesan papa
Usah lupa
Awal mula diriku

-music-

Siapa bilang
Aku semput
Siapa bilang
Aku kalut
Walau sukar manapun aku tetap aku
Walau getir manapun aku tetap di sini

-chorus-

Akupun tahu
Engkau bagai dedalu
Yang selalu
Lupakan diri
Kau lupakan bumi

Diapun tahu
Engkau memang penakut
Lempar batu
Sembunyi tangan
Kau kaki pengecut … Pengecut



me: i love this song so much just now...sigh so here we goes..

10.10.10

10-10-1981

ever since e can remember, when leaning into an illuminating display of candles over a cake, ive said these very words at wish time... though superstition suggests you not tell others what you wish for, as it might not come true, ive always kept it to myself...

*me; happy birthday to me :P


stay fresh