27.12.10

aduh Taubat ...

pagi ni aktiviti tiada, mamak suruh pigi rumah makcik ambil something, sampai jak terus kena suruh jaga budak sebab orang rumah mau kuar jalan...jaga budak ni susah juga ehh~ lebih-lebih budak-budak yang lum tau apa-apa, ni kes aku masa jaga anak buah pagi tadi..


nama dia Fatin.. umur kurang pasti tapi sudah tadika, yalah memang la Fatin sudah bertadika... Tapi dekat Tadika Kemas tuh, aku tengok komprehensif pengajarannya.. Balik2 ajar huruf. Balik2 ajar nombor. Warna gambar. Menyanyi. Melukis... jadinya aku ambik inisiatif sendiri, cuba ajar membaca pulak pagi ni dekat dia..


“kak,cuba eja B.U.K.U”

“B.U Bu, K.U Ku”

“apa bunyinya?”

“bunyi? Bunyi sama dengan ejala?”

“yalah... Kakak eja bunyi apa tadi?”

“B.U Bu, K.U Ku… bunyi sama dengan eja?”

“yalah kakak... betul la ejaanya tu... B.U Bu, K.U Ku.. jadi, bunyinya?”

“B.U Bu, K.U Ku…. bukan bunyi IBU ka?”

“bukan la... Ibu ejanya lain.”

“abis tu, B.U Bu, K.U Ku bunyi apa la?”

“Bunyinya sama la dengan yang kakak eja tuh. Sebut jak la bunyi yang kakak sudah eja tuh... Cubak lagi.”

“B.U Bu, K.U Ku…… bunyi sama dengan eja…. hurmmmm… kakak tidak mau sebut BUKU…….”

“Kenapa tidak sebut BUKU?”

“Sebab B.U Bu, K.U Ku bukan BUKU… bunyi lain………..”

Ok… katakan la kan, dia dah betul dapat sebut BUKU…… bila jumpa perkataan baru misalnya, BAKU….. dia akan sebut juga BUKU…… aku dan yang lain selalu hilang sabar. Hilang sabar bukan sebab apa, si kakak boleh sudah menggeja, tapi dia masi tidak boleh baca… *sigh*

Taubat aku mau jadi cikgu ni!

Another Quote

– Appreciate

betul, apa yang orang cakap... hargai apa yang kita sayangi bila mereka ada di depan kita... ungkapkan sayang semasa mereka mengharapkannya... tunjukkan setia semasa mereka ada di sisi... sebab bila mereka dah tiada nanti, sekurang-kurangnya mereka tahu yang mereka dihargai...


posting awal di sini

me* Mengapa terus mengharap bila diri tidak lagi dihargai?

19.12.10

clue & less

clue and less mode on….language mix on, cincai...so here we goes again...

there were times when i felt clueless..dunno who to ask, dunno what should be done to make it better.,and language barrier makes it complete!!

and the feeling that i don’t like the most is..being a burden to others zzz hurmm dari dulu lagi memang tidak suka kalau berebut dengan orang lain! moreover kalau tau orang tu..how too discribe this one..maksud aku,get annoyed cos of me…but no other way but to ask...got?

therefor..

somehow asking back… if only i can do better. Hmm no idea la..then kalau sudah begini, maybe it's better go somewhere or do something which i can contribute better rather than being a burden to others though dunno where’s and what’s that.

somehow feels like my english totaly s**k, random question is..who am i?

it does happen in anywhere, work and general life somewhere..probably it’s common problem of living abroad.

bla bla mode off..

Reminded..
that’s what i keep holding on, and try to ask back to my self, did you try your best?
if yes, then it’s enough. it’s just a matter of time to get better.

the end...

11.12.10

mood aku down [ marah ]

*whisper to my self...

sekarang ni aku dalam transisi mau kurangkan marah dan belajar banyak sabar...
ingat senang ka masa marah tu, kita teruskan senyum...? sakit jiwa raga ni, dan aku dah usaha mau banyakkan air hujan dalam hati yang tengah bermerah api...janganlah bagi kepala batu aku jadi petrol bila aku sedang belajar siram air biar padam cepat... janganlah bila masa aku di bawah kau di atas kau pandang aku macam semutka apa ka... aku bukan semut hitam atau apakah apakah.. aku ni jenis semut API...haha.

Susah tau sabar. Susah! then jangan kacau don't disturb..sama pulak bunyi dia masa aku tengah main dota xD

yalah aku marah pun tapi untuk senangkan hati fikir ada hikmah semua tu...mungkin bila jadi begini akan jadi begitu...tapi yang begitu tu tersembunyi sebab tu nama dia HIKMAH... bila dah jadi barulah kau mau, patut pun hari tu begini begini...mau jadi begitu begitu rupanya...

Haizzz..ni mau marah ka mau mangadu domba? haha...yalah,tadi tu aku try marah tapi bunyi macam mangadu..seharian stress, mau marah punya pasal..lupa ni hadis ka atau apa.. "Kalau tengah berdiri rasa marah, duduklah.. Kalau duduk masih marah, berbaringlah.. Kalau masih juga, ambillah wuduk... Kerana wuduk itu bisa memadamkan api kemarahan...hheks..nice iz'zit? :)

me* still masih tidak berani mau tumbuk buku batu, dalam erti kata lain, cukuplah urat lutut putus dua...tidak sanggup mau biar tangan putus empat pulak. haha...

10.12.10

Tag lagi daa

1. Apa benda penting dalam hidup anda?
- keluarga aku

2. Benda terakhir yang anda beli guna duit anda?
- rokok (petang tadi beli rokok premium rm3:50)

3. Di manakah tempat anda akan melangsungkan perkahwinan anda dan apakah temanya nanti?
- ntah

4. Adakah anda sedang bercinta sekarang?
-ya... bersama dota aku..Haha

5. Berapa lama anda akan mencintai kekasih anda?
- ndak payah tanya, sebab kalau aku cintakan dia pun dia blum tau lagi cintakan aku..phew!!

6. Di mana anda selalu jumpa kekasih anda?
- UCplay..dota gamer.

7. Novel/majalah/buku terakhir dibeli?
- juara-juara kembar edisi ogos

8. Apakah nama gelaran anda?
- bilis

9. Antara mak dengan ayah yang mana anda lebih mesra?
-2-2

10. Namakan orang yang anda betul2x nak jumpa dalam hidup anda?
- sudah tentu la nabi junjungan. rasul terakhir.

11. Adakah anda basuh baju anda sendiri?
-tidak(malas gila.haha)

12. Di manakah tempat anda betul2x nak pergi?
- tunaikan haji..tapi ndak tau bila.

13. Pilih satu "peluk" atau "cium"?
- both...rakus..haha

14. Beritahu 3 benda tentang orang yang beri tag.
- setia, manja, comel.

15. Lima benda yang disayangi dalam hidup anda.
- 1)kau 2)kamu 3)awak 4)anda 5)aku

16. Lagu yang anda suka dan selalu dengar.
- Yui-love & truth

17. Bila tarikh lahir dan kt maner korang sambut tahun lepas?
- none

18. Rakan blogger yg anda nk tag?
- sapa2 la yg masuk blog ni, blog ni pun biasa2 jak..tiada org mau masuk..uhuuu

me* dota

24.11.10

all i have to give

after this, apa-apa jadi pun saya tidak akan salah kan kamu. Kamu akan salahkan saya tidak?...

Tiada salah siapa-siapa. Everything happen for a reason... Tidak perlu mau salah kan sesiapa, tidak payah mau sesal apa-apa...

Kamu tidaak menyesal kenal saya?...

Apa yang mahu dikesalkan? Knowing you was one of the best thing ever happen to me. i am so grateful to be tested this way so that i can be stronger and brave enough to face the fact of life.... the fact that we are not living in a perfect world... only that we are always trying so hard to find a perfection that realistically never exist..!

give love to the right person...thats all i have to give.


somewhere*

"When you look in her eyes, and she’s looking back in yours, everything feels not quite normal, because you feel stronger, and weaker at the same time. You feel excited, and at the same time, terrified. The truth is you don’t know what you feel, except you know what kind of man you want to be. It’s as if you’ve reached the unreachable, and you weren’t ready for it. ” – Peter Parker on Mary Jane in Spiderman.



me* special entry for a special person..happy birthday sis... May ALLAH bless you with years of happiness to come... remember, there are always a light at the end of the tunnel... you never know what is waiting... all you have to do is just keep a little faith and enjoy every moments of your life... life so beautiful to be wasted... :D

the end..

16.11.10

Somehow

somehow i dono wanna continue or not, lie to myself?
we ain't drifting apart...
though its really hard to pretend that nothing is changing...and somehow?
you said distance won't be a problem...
but to me, its does matter...
it's been long since i told you my h2h feeling...



found myself a job.
sm starting work next week.
and still manage to tell myself
' go strong, smile like there isn't tomorrow '


i've to adjust myself, to adapt a newlife.
& i doubt, i've time to meet up with my friends anymore.
& we're definitely gonna drift...

me* unknown

31.10.10

Tagging On Facebook






bangun tidur jak, bukak fb...ada 100 atau mungkin lebih notification...wah@wow rasa diri anda hot gila lah masa tu...sekali bila bukak, ada orang tag nama anda dalam gambar...zzzz dan 99 notification tadi, komen untuk gambar itu...gambar yang tiada kena mengena langsung. Perasaan anda?


Pendapat:
Anda mungkin berpendapat.. kalau anda mahu buat kerja cenggitu, sehari mungkin anda akan tag nama orang di 100 gambar...namun harus tau dan sedar itu semua sia-sia...anda tidak mahu publisiti murahan...

sama-sama la kita faham ya..


"love is like dota"
wise move, never feed the troll.

30.10.10

musim bola?




dan aku hairanla napa aku tidak minat bola… mungkin aku tidak suka akan sesuatu yang ‘semua orang suka’ dan membuatkan aku tidak suka permainan yang perlu berebut rebut… nanti bola itu rasa dirinya hebat kerana 22 orang berebut berkejaran kerana beliau.


dan kerana semua orang suka, ndak semestinya aku tiada pilihan untuk kata ‘tidak.’ biarpun pelukis itu sangat terkenal dan artwork beliau dijual dengan harga RM22 juta pun, aku boleh cakap aku tidak suka… then walaupun 10 ribu kawan2ku semuanya meminati Justin Bibir, tidak bermakna aku harus sukakan homosex shota itu…heks


taste masing masing lah kawan… xD

current mood

others of my story [ end ]




ACADEMICALLY

i grew up too fast and there is no childhood actually. i already memorizing and practice multiplication and division since before kindergarden. i read a lot when i was before kindergarden. I at the point where no one would even imagine since i was small. thats is why i manage to excel in academic field untill i was in 3grade. after that i "jumped" class. i was shocked by a mathematical terms called "fraction". since then i was dropping my standard of education. untill i was at form 3. my pmr result wasnt bad. i got the offer to go to technic schools. my dad refuse so i stuck in tawau. and i was learning biology eventhough i was intrested in ICT field. but. i move on. after that i got to asasi mara. for a year and half. i study law. i was on every effort refusing to retake my muet exam since i know. if i flunk law. i can go to ICT field. however thanks to mara. i still stucked at law.and now im doing my own passion.


EMOTIONALLY

i was grew as the last child. my mother puts a lot of hope in me. so she pushed my capability at age 5. and to be in the family is hard. imagine. a child play with itself untill 5th grade. how thats for lonely? however this is life. i grew. i was emotionally change since i was 5th grade where i finally have a "wet dreams". since then i was one rebellious boy. i was involved in schools gang. i skipped class. and even smoke. i was turning to a person who i am today. and at form2. i meet my first love. n thats totally change everything. i get this wet and weak heart since then. i was starting to turn unstable and unable to think logically. i learn my temper since then. i learn to cry since then. and for god sake. i am a weaklings since then.

SOCIALLY

i was grew up too fast that i dont see the value of social life. i was a silent or rude person. since i turned to 5th grade. i still remember how others dont like me. the only person who be friend with me at the gang. of course. the conversation and activities was a little bit harsh. i learn to social in other side of life. since then i have more friends older than at the same age. and with that all of them does not really apply the tittle "abang,pakcik" or etc. so when i meet people. its awkward to call and respect others. i was streotyping others to be the same age as i calling "aku,kau". when i shake hands with others. i cant really kiss elders hand. i only do that for my family and her family. thats seems to be rude. i'm trying to change.


I was pushed beyond my ordinary capability since i was small. now i am 2 years ahead of a person that at the same age of me in academic. i was being a little too unstable in emotions. im a persons that may not be understandable in religous as i was once an astray. i was socially rude to others eyes. here and there. i was one fucked up living persons. that is me. i was an incomplete persons with extraordinary route.

im trying hard each days to learn and adapt my life for a better things a head though.


but recently i was tested by beloved god. in family crisis. in love crisis. in financial crisis. in social crisis. in drugs crisis. in academic crisis. all these things hit me in one month time frame which is one month before my final. i barely can walk since i was falling, but now i had to run. now that is one hard task to complete. and i see it in this way.


"GOD TEST ARENT MEANT TO BE PASSED. ITS MEANT TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING".

currently. im trying hard to picks up few things. and i need others supports. i really hope you can share some of your motivational words just to move me there. to make it in life. tq. :(


*me-i wish i was there. better ones than now who i am...

27.10.10

Aku Dan Kotak






anggaplah yang gambar katun tu adalah aku, line hitam tu pulak kotak, dan aku sedang berada di dalamnya, ntah sejak bila ada.. aku cuba keluar… berjaya! tapi sekarang masuk balik lah… sebab aku takut...the end.

fake smiles

26.10.10

buat mu aku penting ??


Tidak pernah perasaan ku menjadi begitu penting...tidak pernah keinginan ku menjadi keutamaan... tidak pernah jiwa ku didahulukan dan tidak pernah hati ku mahu dibelai indah..

so be it... live with it...

Once true love was placed before me, but I didn’t cherish it. After I lost it, I regretted it. This is the most painful thing in the world… If heaven could give me another chance, I would say to that girl three words, ” I love you.” If I had to place a time limit on this love, I hope it would be 10,000 years.

22.10.10

others of my story [part 1]

currently... im in a situation where things are falling apart, sedikit demi sedikit..selalu jatuh di sini dan di sana, inside and outside..dan ada yang bersuara dengan aku, cakap aku ni kebudak-budakan, but i'ts ok for me then i give you the story of my life from my other side...just to explain why. its not what i asked for being childish and stubborn. its just how i grew up eventually. its not like im blaming others for this... coz as everyone knew. i am a low self esteem person which tends to blame myself. so this is my route given by god and i cant make it the way others expect including family,lovers,friends and god..



Religously

i learned to perform my pray at age 4 or 5. i cant remember it well. i already finish the whole quran in standard3. i didnt even start learn to recite used iqra'. it starts with muqaddam straight ahead. and counting untill now. i repeated to finish the whole quran 3 times. however there is a black dot in my religious experience. i was a condemmed astray from form 4 till form 5 which i was an offical member of the satanism. thank god. i being reconverted by ustazah Fauziah in form 5. and untill now. im a muslims. i think subliminally. i was still at the point of searching god. and by god. he test me a whole lot of test...

Aku Tetap Aku



Siapa bilang
Aku takut
Siapa bilang
Aku hanyut
Walau tinggi manapun aku tetap aku
Walau kecil manapun aku tetap berani
Pesan mama
Pesan papa
Usah lupa
Awal mula diriku

-music-

Siapa bilang
Aku semput
Siapa bilang
Aku kalut
Walau sukar manapun aku tetap aku
Walau getir manapun aku tetap di sini

-chorus-

Akupun tahu
Engkau bagai dedalu
Yang selalu
Lupakan diri
Kau lupakan bumi

Diapun tahu
Engkau memang penakut
Lempar batu
Sembunyi tangan
Kau kaki pengecut … Pengecut



me: i love this song so much just now...sigh so here we goes..

10.10.10

10-10-1981

ever since e can remember, when leaning into an illuminating display of candles over a cake, ive said these very words at wish time... though superstition suggests you not tell others what you wish for, as it might not come true, ive always kept it to myself...

*me; happy birthday to me :P


stay fresh

29.9.10

mood aku down [ unknown II ]






when no light shines, and no one there. this soul is corrupted, and thus heart is shadowed. hope is sealed, and dream is quenches. love is buried and faith is shattered. to that is why i shall mourned myself.

25.9.10

Love is Like Dota [ part II ]




Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wish you could turn back time

Love is like DOTA because you won't achieve anything alone or without cooperation

Love is like DOTA because once you start, you have to finish it

Love is like DOTA because everybody hates quitters

Love is like DOTA because you spend so much on items.

Love is like DOTA because you will be in grave danger if you don't know what your partner is capable of

Love is like DOTA because you can act as anyone you want to be.

Love is like DOTA because you'll never know who will be coming towards your way.

Love is like DOTA because if you want to surprise her, then go through the back door

Love is like DOTA because there are alot of distractions

Love is like DOTA because if you're in love or playing dota at that moment, you can't be disturbed at all

Love is like DOTA because you always ask help from your friends

Love is like DOTA because it brings barkada's together

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wanna be invisible

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wanna know what it's like switching places

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you perform better at night

Love is like DOTA because most of the players quit when they are having a hard time or they think they are going to lose

Love is like DOTA because it is time consuming

Love is like DOTA because you really can't do things by yourself

Love is like DOTA because you always have to be updated

Love is like DOTA because even though there are bugs, you don't know why they are there or what caused them


23.9.10

and i'm sick

hari ni pun aku sakit.dah berapa hari aku sakit...sakit dada,sakit kepala...lelah,ampus...aktiviti harian ku pun terhad,susah mau fokus untuk buat something,sesak nafasku..aku cuma bertahan dan tidak buat apa-apa..petang tadi pergi klinik, kazen yang hantar...macam biasa doktor tanya itu ini,cek itu ini then bagi ubat..hurmm...malas la story, see? mood pun hilang..



when i’m sick, i want a glass of bubur telur (just like childhood) and then i want everyone to leave me alone... i hate attention, even from my mother, when i’m under the weather...

13.9.10

Insomania





INSOMNIA...bisakah engkau tinggalkan aku seketika, just leave me for 4 hours and then you may comeback for the whole day long..i love you so, but not now,please leave me alone INSOMNIA…



*me: still,i'm awake..

12.9.10

mood aku down [ dedicated ]

In Closing...
If you've read this, I appreciate it. I appreciate all my friends and family who have endured through all my flakiness and bullshit. I feel like this time has been one of transition for me and it hasn't been the easiest. I can only hope that you will believe me when I say that I am trying. I am planning to go back to school this spring and actually get a job. I am very slowly learning to drive and eventually intend to finally get out of here for reals. I am 21 and not really as on top of things as I could be for my age... But I ain't dead yet. I have a lot of optimism left in me still, that all of this is working toward better. So if your faith in me has still managed to endure, well... Thanks.

11.9.10

mood aku down [ edisi raya ]







Tuhan..

Kucuba nyalakan api..
Tuhan..
Api ku mati..



the end

10.9.10

selamat hari raya [flash back]





kampung... rumah terbuka... ketupat... lemang... lepat..lepat? owh yang ni tiada haha.. rendang... dodol... baulu... ayam goreng... ayam masak kicap... lontong... lampu colok... lap lip...lilin.. bunga api... mercun.. mercun katak. meriam buluh. esctactic kids.... hitching a ride. air terjun. sungai…hutan kecik hutan besar..yada..yada..yada…haha..ok, concrete world…pagi ni bangun sangat-sangat lambat,lebih kurang 1.25pm...zzz,solat hari raya pun lama sudah habis...





*somehing to share

i liked this sms sent to be by my very close friend, brother and my sister. it goes like this…

Selamat Hari Raya .

Maaf zahir dan batin.

Forgive the wrongs and bads, yes.

Wishes, best.

Keep smiling, not more nor less.

Enjoy the food and celebration, I suggest.

Abg bila mau kawin ni? ;)





mungkin yang itu sahaja..and for me..here this..

selamat hari raya





SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF DIPINTA ANDAI ADA TERKASAR BAHASA, TERGURIS HATI, TERUMPAT, TERKEJI, ADA RASA TidAK PUAS HATI... OLEH ITU SAYA DENGAN RENDAH DIRI INGIN MENYUSUN SEPULUH JARI MEMOHON KEAMPUNAN DAN KEMAAFAN" the end...


9.9.10

life and think

sampai bila kita mau jadi orang lain…?? kenapa mau ikut orang lain…?? kenapa kita tidak jadi diri kita..?? dan kita yang menjadikannya satu kelainan…..sedar la!

8.9.10

realize…

thing that i need to report on...

Do U realize that you are wrong…???

Do U realize that other people suffered from your wrong doing…???

Do U ever think about paying back what you’ve done…???

Do U ever think about your actual condition from your exclusive conditions…???

Do U realize that U just like other people…?

Please…. wake-up “A” blow your fantasies away!!!

Wake-up…

Avoiding Enemies

1. Respect every one and show respect even if it annoys you to do so.
2. Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.
3. Conduct your self with honor in all that you do.
4. Treat every one- even those that you utterly despise- with dignity.
5. Do good unto every man.
6. Take care and always be truthful even when it is not convenient to do so.
7. Avoid taking what is not yours for your own benefit.
8. Understand that it is wrong to commit infidelity or take a man’s woman from him, or if you are a woman never take another woman’s man.
9. Avoid becoming involved in matters that do not concern you.
10. Practice the golden rule and do not gossip or make false allegations.
11. Live peacefully with all men.
12. Cause no harm.
13. Keep secrets.


Sources from wikihow.com

5.9.10

Siaran 9 - Wings


Andai engkau mahu lihat
Keindahan yang ku lihat
Pejamkanlah lima-lima
Inderamu seketika

Dan bukakan pula mata hatimu
Dikit demi sedikit kasih
Pasti kau kan menangis
Kerna gembira
Sangat gembira melihatnya

Sehingga terasa
Pernah bersua
Tapi dah terlupa
Bila masa
Dan di mana
Di antara
Sebuah mimpi
Dengan kenangan
Engkau menyesal
Dan bersyukur

Kesal kerna memandang
Hanya sebelah mata
Tak pandai menghargai

Barang yang berharga
Syukur diberi
Peluang yang kedua kali
Untuk buktikan
Biar hujan petir
Kilat menyambar
Biar lautan api menyimbah
Biar terancam
Nyawamu
Dihujung pedang
Tapi kau lepaskan
Janji kau berikan
Untuk setia sepanjang
Meniti dan meniti hari

Kau kembali ke sisinya
Impianmu
Yang sebenar-benarnya ...

....................................................................................................................................................................

*me: the song that i hear just now..the end.

4.9.10

perasaan ini





i think we need to talk..

about what?

Owh.. that…

(then)..

i wish all the best for you.. all the best thing in the world just for you. i hate this part right here to make a decision whereby i know i cant do nothing.. this is a good news.. its a change .. yaa a drastic change..

blurr? for now? what we have right now…? why so many question before that time is up..




*me; jangan kacau, don't disturb

31.8.10

i'm not DEAD....but!!

Okay, second lie in less than 113 words..i haven’t particularly been busy with anything, except maybe… oh… important stuff... like Dota, SDO and D2...more? sure my ps2 xD



*After a night of gaming, the morning sunrays often dance all over my retina...*sight* a dance of pain and great suffering...




*conversation is entirely imaginary, but I think something to that effect was said that night. If you were there and happen to read this blog… Can’t a guy have a little artistic license on his own goddamn blog? Huh? HUH???



*there are several terms in there that probably warrant explanation, but to understand it you’ll need to play it.. i would show you one of those pictures they have on cigarette packets and tell you that playing the games causes you to get those to keep you away from it...sorry can't tell you more..? why? no idea..

*me; Seems we have the same problems … haha


*another me; (Unable to grow up even after feeding growth potion) can also get rid of it. go search... It's pretty new.

another diablo

i could actually just stop typing now... Iive said everything that matters! rejoice! diablo 3 will be playable on both sides of the globe this month! really great news if you ask me one... the reason for me getting excited, even though i am nowhere near either of them? leaks! information! footage! all of the above! what an eventful month this has turned out to be... i simply cannot wait..just in case, the end...




27.8.10

deep inside


hari khamis.. sedikit bosan dengan keadaan, hari yang aku tidak berapa pasti tapi aku keluar sendiri dari rumah dan turun ke fujimart..tapi bukan mau story apsal ni.. tapi mau story pasal sesuatu yang menyentuh perasaan ku..

dari pondok menunggu bas dekat kg aku aku naik bas untuk kebandar, awan nampak sedikit mendung..senyap jak..dalam masa kurang 15 minit aku sampai di banadr..then terpaksa naik satu lagi bas, dalam masa bas ni menuju ke fuji mart hujan renyai mula turun..sampai jak di tempat aku tuju tu aku turun dari bas..still masi lagi hujan renyai-renyai...aku jalan ikut lorong depan bagunnan takut kena hujan hehe..masa jalan tu aku paling balik tempat hentian bas tmpt aku berenti tadi..aku tengok la satu kapel but yang sedang menunggu sesuatu.. aku pun ndak berapa pasti tapi apa yang aku pasti mereka sangat bahagia..

suami berjalan dihadapan, isteri pegang kuat belakang suami dia.. bejalan tanpa bertanya apa-apa, biar orang tengok apa pun mereka tidak nampak…

yang pasti mereka jalan jak kehadapan menunggu, teksi datang tidak naik walaupun sudahh ditanya, bas datang pun tidak naik.. yang paling menyentuh tu, bila si suami ke depan sikit kena hujan, mau kebelakang ada orang bersesak yang berhati batu sikit pun tidak pandang dorang dan tanya apa-apa ka kan… yang pasti siterinya pun turut serta… bersama ngan suami dia.. sngat muhibah… hidayah allah kepada mereka snagat besar… sama sama ndak sempurna sian, tapi menjadikan diri mereka sempurna…

cuma mungkin apa yang aku ceritakan ini tidak memberi kesan.. tapi aku teringat satu pesan, kemana pun jangan jalan seorang diri, sebab kalau jalan seorang diri bak orang buta, hala tuju kita sendiri sahaja, tapi kalau berdua, baru sempurna sebab kita ada tempat bergantung. Macam mereka jugak… aku sangat sedih sebab ndak ramai orang disekeliling aku dapat memandang sebab mereka hanya dpat melihat...

ok batter [ part II ]

what should i write actually?? ok sebelum tu..mari dengar ini...
"Tak sengaja lewat depan rumahmu..Ku melihat ada tenda biru...Dihiasi indahnya janur kuning...Hati bertanya pernikahan siapa.
Tak percaya tapi ini terjadi...Kau bersanding duduk di pelaminan...Airmata jatuh tak tertahankan...Kau khianati cinta suci ini.
Tanpa undangan , Diriku kau lupakan...Tanpa utusan . . . Diriku kau tinggalkan...Tanpa bicara . . . Kau buat ku kecewa...Tanpa berdosa . . . Kau buatku merana...Ku tak percaya . . . Dirimu tega...Nodai cinta . . . Khianati cinta.. haha

25.8.10

mood aku down [ replay ]

here we goes again...same day same down, untuk entri yang sebelum ni aku terpaksa tangguh buat sementara..why? see tittle. Today was one of these days when everything goes wrong and i wish a had just stayed in bed dreaming of a better one, aku cakap tidur ka? for this 12hrs...i got no sleep one..kesian diri aku, begitu la apabila kebenaran tersingkap dan hati luluh tidak berkata *sight*

not enough time, not enough sleep, good friends in trouble… i guess it happens to everyone once in a while (mungkin).

24.8.10

ok..better

lupa..balik dari Restoran Singgah Selalu tadi pukul berapa, and..i finally managed to get a proper amount of sleep.. while that sleep happened to occur between 2am and 5am, it still did still occur, and it did me a world of good....did i? bah..here we goes again..

*i get pretty sentimental with my bloggings sometimes, and there's always a strange amount of guilt associated with anytime i mention anything too personal..*sight* ..hurrmm [ rindu eh..mau call baby ka tidak ]

i've spent the past few days just sitting around my house, and that is a lousy thing..[ bored ]

*sebenarnya aku mau buat a philosophical post but, and also wanna do some random shoots but i suddenly need to do stuffs..dota? ya maybe..sebab dari awal tengah hari lagi selalu ajak main dan buat pada ketika itu jugak aku betul-betul tengah sibuk..sibuk duduk termenung, alone? yah...[ rindu eh..mau call baby ka tidak ]


5:14am
#facebook msg from cengceng puspa
"salam abang"
-wsalam.w.w...
"bla..bla..bla....for 5-10mins

adik minta tolong buat kan sikit kerja...[dalam situasi sekarang]


Nah... Just kidding...not pointing fingers here, wasn't their fault solely.. wish i can be more organized tho... sorry sis :(

ok enuf of that...kenapa benda ni tidak mau lari dari kepala pemikiran aku...apa dia? ada lah...rahsia! rahsia mana boleh kongsi xD..jokeing nia... haha [ rindu eh..mau call baby ka tidak ] ni la dia...mari kita faham sama-sama..
it's all about relations-ship that was i thinking just now...actualy..from this 2 days...hurmm [ bersambung ]


...........................................................................

aku dan puasa...



me?….kalau ingat-ingat balik 1st time aku puasa penuh satu hari adalah masa aku umur 6-7 tahun mungkin...aduh! betapa siksanya lapar itu? heks...masa tu aku tinggal kampung, kecik lagi..badan pun kurus kering ( aku rasa aku, masa aku kecik-kecik dulu ada cacing ..heks..),tapi masa tu aku jenis yang suka diam-diam, yalah masa kecik tu selalu datang sakit. Sebelum-sebelum tu, aku puasa mesti setengah hari jak, sebab mamak takut aku pengsan..hehe.. kecik lagi masa tu…belum wajib!hehe…!

jadi bila aku masuk sekolah rendah,Ustaz aku time tu…orag Kelantan,nama Ustaz Najib.Dia kata,kalau tak pose takleh raya!Pehhh!Sapa tak nak raya?Abih tu takkan aku tak main bunga api ( bunga api batang besi Made in China ),mercun cabik ( mercun kecik warna merah tu..) and takkan aku tak pasang api “mandung” ( panjut/lilin/pelita ).Tak syiok la kan?

So aku kata kat mak aku,mak esok aku nak pose penuh.Tak kira..apa jadi pun aku nak lengkap jugak satu hari.Aku akan tunggu beduk dipalu kat Masjid,baru la bukak posa.Maka esoknya,balik sekolah aku campak beg.Lepas tu aku pegi main,tak rasa lagi laparnya…sebab aku berendam kat sungai dengan kawan aku.Dah petang aku balik rumah dah ada kick dah,aku bawak2 bertenang…sampai tertido.Bila dah betul2 petang,agak2 memang lagi 5-10 minit nak bukak tu…aku mula menunjukkan penderitaan yang setara dgn org2 kebuluran.Hehehe…dengan air mata meleleh,dagu menggeletar,badan dah layu habih…nak angkat tangan pun dah tak larat.Bapak aku suruh bukak,aku keras hati tak mau bukak.Ya…keras kepala dasat giler.Last2…bila beduk berdentum,aku dah tahap nak separuh melayang nyawa dah,mak aku suap bubur kacang sebab aku nak pegang sudu pun tak larat time tu.

Oh….masa tu aku tau….alangkah beruntungnya kita dapat makan dan minum.Dan beRAYA! :-)

block mental or mental block...




i am staying up basically to finish my tutorial reports,which are supposed to be done in last night.. but i'm experiencing severe mental block! Grrr…….untuk mengubat jiwa luka sengsara,here are the pics that i have taken few minutes ago...pardon the quality,it’s a cheap sony ericsson phone…te..hee..he….



23.8.10

Dia Sudah

” i sense someone is missing me la.”

” how do you know? “

” because b missed her too! ”

:)


” aku rasa macam ada orang rindukan aku lah.”

” macam mana tau? “

” sebab aku pun rindukan dia jugak! “

:)


to someone [a.k.a baby] :missing you..the end.

hurmm..like this, hate this

masa tengah cer..cek itu privacy settings for all applications.. i mean on FB, i realised that i took a lot of quizzes, some of them are of the same type.. the funny thing is that, i mostly get different results... contohnya..

ni dua kuiz yang aku ambil..and... 'which animal do i resemble' dan satu lagi’ result was penguin while the other said im a fox (keputusan untuk app ni aku da remove daa heks)then...the most amusing ones were the personality/temperament-tests. three quizzes (okay, untuk dua pesonaliti tests and one temperament test. i know they are different, but lets be dramatic la ) and three results: phlegmatic, choleric and melancholic...bagus juga dapat keputusan yang berbeza, a reminder that one) these are just quizzes made for fun..

more? ya hear this one..but! i hate to talk about this one, but somehow...nvm...its so lame when taking few quiz on facebook and hate them so much when it get's freaking accurate. cb!!! below is some example of the freaking accurate quiz!

sand king took the quiz 'are you really over your ex' and the result is you're stuck in henny moy
*you think you know, but sorry, you have no idea.. you pretend like everything's okay, but truth is, you're still all torn up over your ex.. it's like you're living two separate lives~~ depressed at home and putting on a happy face... for others. casual hook ups and drunken nights aren't going to do the trick to help you get over it either.. you'v got to properly mourn the relationship before you can healthily move on from it...*sight*

sand king took what is truly in your heart and the result is darkness sadness or redemption *you chose what you wanted to be,so just hang in there...kena ingat jua, mesti ada biar pun kecil atau sedikit harapan ..means, at the end..


sand king took 'what behind your eyes' and the result is "broken"
*you seem to have had alot of chaos in your life causing you to feel secluded from others.. you have little confidence which doesn't help with socialising..and more you feel a sense of sadness most times which has most likely been from a tragic loss.. you have had your heart broken i...nto millions of pieces and you feel you cant trust a girl much so you go for small flings which last no longer than a month. you need to set your mind on a girl you like, get to know her first really well and slowly learn to love her before anything serious happens...[for this part, ya..its happening now]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hurm. its really annoying when its get too real... zzz


22.8.10

celaru


just in case bah, siapa celaru ? kadangkala kecelaruan sering menghantui diri... dan yang gundah selalu berbisik di dalam hati... dan yang buruk selalu menjadi hiasan perasaan...

but!!

harus diingat, perasaan yang buruk itu mainan syaitan… bukankah syaitan yang selalu inginkan manusia binasa?


*me/ unknown .

21.8.10

Dota Is Like Love 2

Dota Or Me ?

-Nortrom: When your beside me im silenced
-Enchantress: I get hurt when i go away from you
-Viper: I walk slowly when your near me
-Rikimaru: Even you cant see me just remember im always beside you
-Akasha: My heart always screams your name
-Rylai: You frostbite my heart
-Naix: Let me infest your world
-Doom Bringer: I cant do anything when your around
-Radiance: I get hurt when your around
-Rhasta: You got my heart shackled
-Pudge: I cant stay away from you
-Roshan: I will die for you

-item shop: I will give you everything
-Faceless Void: Time stops when im with you
-Terror Blade: I will give my life to you
-Mercurial: I will follow you


so.. the question:
1. u play dota too much?
2. care to explain? coz some of others dun play dota so much, good idea though..heks.

to someone [a.k.a baby] :if you a Fountain of life? You are my life..the end.

Story about Dota [ dedicate post ]




Dota..apa tu?bunyi macam keropok rota jak kan?..hehehe..DotA sebenarnya ialah sebuah permainan keluaran blizzard entertainment yang popular diseluruh dunia. Game ini ialah costume game dari Warcraft.Game ini ialah game strategi, jadi kalau mau main mestilah la atur strategi baru boleh menang. Dota ni setaraf dengan game-game lama macam Counter-Strike dengan Starcraft. Siapa yang tidak kenal dengan Counter Strike, game famous masa kamu kecik-kecik dulu sampai la sekarang masih popular lagi game tu sampai dekat World Cyber Game pun dah jadi game rasmi mereka.

[Sejarah]


Sejarah Dota ni bermula pada tahun 2003 apabila pembuat costume map Dota, Eul’s memperkenalkan map “Defence of The Ancient”. Kemudian seorang lagi ­developer Steven Feak [a.k.a Guinsoo] memperkenalkan Allstars yang popular sampai la ke hari ini. Feak menambah berbagai-bagai benda kedalam Allstars antaranya resipi barang-barang dan Roshan [a.k.a Roslan]. Selepas versi 6.01, Feak menyerahkan Allstars kepada pengurusan baru iaitu Icefrogs [KatakAis] yang kekal sehinggalah ke hari ini.

KatakAis



Dota juga mempunyai laman web rasmi iaitu www.playdota.com. Pemain dari seluruh dunia boleh melawat ke laman web ini untuk mengetahui perkembangan terbaru tentang map DoTA dan info-info terkini dari Icefrogs.

Pada tahun 2005, Dota telah dimasukkan kedalam senarai dalam pertandingan Malaysia and Singapore World Cyber Games dan pada tahun 2006 pula, World Cyber Games Asian Championships turut memasukkan Dota kedalam senarai mereka.

WCG

[Evolusi]

Dari dulu hingga kini, Dota telah mengalami berbagai evolusi dari segi karakter, item dan penampilan peta. Kalau dulu, map tidak ada warna sangat, tidak colouring orang cakap. Tapi sekarang sua semakin menarik. Untuk versi 6.65,kalau korang bunuh Roshan, pemegang Aegis akan dapat topi santa claus dekat kepala hero diorang. Topi ni special untuk Chrismas sebab map ni di-release masa Chrismas akan datang. Dota sentiasa mengalami evolusi dan tidak akan berhenti.

Cube tengok map yang lama sampai la sekarang(6.68)

versi 5.84

versi 6.27b
versi 6.29b

versi 6.36

versi 6.55

versi kartun

versi 6.68

[Addicted]

Tak dinafikan Dota boleh menjadikan seseorang tu untuk addicted sampai boleh main berjam-jam lamanya. Adakala sampai 124 jam tanpa henti main Dota pengalaman ku hehehe. Tapi kalau diikutkan, game lain pon boleh menyebabkan seseorang tu ketagih untuk bermain macam Ragnarok, FarmVille, dan bermacam-macam lagi la. Yang penting terpulang kepada kita untuk mengawal diri sendiri.

[Video]

Bawah ni aku letak beberape link kalau korang mau tengok pro-pro main Dota macam mana..harap mau jadi pro macam diorang hehe

Luck Is No Excuse

Genoside Dota

Witchcraft

[Gambar]



Orang kata gambar menceritakan seribu perkataan kan. Jadi korang tengoklah gambar yang aku ambik dari Google dengan Deviantart ni. Enjoy...