mood aku down [ unknown II ]

when no light shines, and no one there. this soul is corrupted, and thus heart is shadowed. hope is sealed, and dream is quenches. love is buried and faith is shattered. to that is why i shall mourned myself.

Love is Like Dota [ part II ]

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wish you could turn back time

Love is like DOTA because you won't achieve anything alone or without cooperation

Love is like DOTA because once you start, you have to finish it

Love is like DOTA because everybody hates quitters

Love is like DOTA because you spend so much on items.

Love is like DOTA because you will be in grave danger if you don't know what your partner is capable of

Love is like DOTA because you can act as anyone you want to be.

Love is like DOTA because you'll never know who will be coming towards your way.

Love is like DOTA because if you want to surprise her, then go through the back door

Love is like DOTA because there are alot of distractions

Love is like DOTA because if you're in love or playing dota at that moment, you can't be disturbed at all

Love is like DOTA because you always ask help from your friends

Love is like DOTA because it brings barkada's together

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wanna be invisible

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wanna know what it's like switching places

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you perform better at night

Love is like DOTA because most of the players quit when they are having a hard time or they think they are going to lose

Love is like DOTA because it is time consuming

Love is like DOTA because you really can't do things by yourself

Love is like DOTA because you always have to be updated

Love is like DOTA because even though there are bugs, you don't know why they are there or what caused them

and i'm sick

hari ni pun aku sakit.dah berapa hari aku sakit...sakit dada,sakit kepala...lelah,ampus...aktiviti harian ku pun terhad,susah mau fokus untuk buat something,sesak nafasku..aku cuma bertahan dan tidak buat apa-apa..petang tadi pergi klinik, kazen yang hantar...macam biasa doktor tanya itu ini,cek itu ini then bagi ubat..hurmm...malas la story, see? mood pun hilang..



when i’m sick, i want a glass of bubur telur (just like childhood) and then i want everyone to leave me alone... i hate attention, even from my mother, when i’m under the weather...

Insomania

INSOMNIA...bisakah engkau tinggalkan aku seketika, just leave me for 4 hours and then you may comeback for the whole day long..i love you so, but not now,please leave me alone INSOMNIA…

*me: still,i'm awake..

mood aku down [ dedicated ]

In Closing...
If you've read this, I appreciate it. I appreciate all my friends and family who have endured through all my flakiness and bullshit. I feel like this time has been one of transition for me and it hasn't been the easiest. I can only hope that you will believe me when I say that I am trying. I am planning to go back to school this spring and actually get a job. I am very slowly learning to drive and eventually intend to finally get out of here for reals. I am 21 and not really as on top of things as I could be for my age... But I ain't dead yet. I have a lot of optimism left in me still, that all of this is working toward better. So if your faith in me has still managed to endure, well... Thanks.

mood aku down [ edisi raya ]

Tuhan..
Kucuba nyalakan api..
Tuhan..
Api ku mati..



the end

selamat hari raya [flash back]

kampung... rumah terbuka... ketupat... lemang... lepat..lepat? owh yang ni tiada haha.. rendang... dodol... baulu... ayam goreng... ayam masak kicap... lontong... lampu colok... lap lip...lilin.. bunga api... mercun.. mercun katak. meriam buluh. esctactic kids.... hitching a ride. air terjun. sungai…hutan kecik hutan besar..yada..yada..yada…haha..ok, concrete world…pagi ni bangun sangat-sangat lambat,lebih kurang 1.25pm...zzz,solat hari raya pun lama sudah habis...





*somehing to share

i liked this sms sent to be by my very close friend, brother and my sister. it goes like this…

Selamat Hari Raya .

Maaf zahir dan batin.

Forgive the wrongs and bads, yes.

Wishes, best.

Keep smiling, not more nor less.

Enjoy the food and celebration, I suggest.

Abg bila mau kawin ni? ;)





mungkin yang itu sahaja..and for me..here this..

selamat hari raya

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF DIPINTA ANDAI ADA TERKASAR BAHASA, TERGURIS HATI, TERUMPAT, TERKEJI, ADA RASA TidAK PUAS HATI... OLEH ITU SAYA DENGAN RENDAH DIRI INGIN MENYUSUN SEPULUH JARI MEMOHON KEAMPUNAN DAN KEMAAFAN" the end...

life and think

sampai bila kita mau jadi orang lain…?? kenapa mau ikut orang lain…?? kenapa kita tidak jadi diri kita..?? dan kita yang menjadikannya satu kelainan…..sedar la!

realize…

thing that i need to report on...

Do U realize that you are wrong…???

Do U realize that other people suffered from your wrong doing…???

Do U ever think about paying back what you’ve done…???

Do U ever think about your actual condition from your exclusive conditions…???

Do U realize that U just like other people…?

Please…. wake-up “A” blow your fantasies away!!!

Wake-up…

Avoiding Enemies

1. Respect every one and show respect even if it annoys you to do so.
2. Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.
3. Conduct your self with honor in all that you do.
4. Treat every one- even those that you utterly despise- with dignity.
5. Do good unto every man.
6. Take care and always be truthful even when it is not convenient to do so.
7. Avoid taking what is not yours for your own benefit.
8. Understand that it is wrong to commit infidelity or take a man’s woman from him, or if you are a woman never take another woman’s man.
9. Avoid becoming involved in matters that do not concern you.
10. Practice the golden rule and do not gossip or make false allegations.
11. Live peacefully with all men.
12. Cause no harm.
13. Keep secrets.

Sources from wikihow.com

Siaran 9 - Wings

Andai engkau mahu lihat
Keindahan yang ku lihat
Pejamkanlah lima-lima
Inderamu seketika

Dan bukakan pula mata hatimu
Dikit demi sedikit kasih
Pasti kau kan menangis
Kerna gembira
Sangat gembira melihatnya

Sehingga terasa
Pernah bersua
Tapi dah terlupa
Bila masa
Dan di mana
Di antara
Sebuah mimpi
Dengan kenangan
Engkau menyesal
Dan bersyukur

Kesal kerna memandang
Hanya sebelah mata
Tak pandai menghargai

Barang yang berharga
Syukur diberi
Peluang yang kedua kali
Untuk buktikan
Biar hujan petir
Kilat menyambar
Biar lautan api menyimbah
Biar terancam
Nyawamu
Dihujung pedang
Tapi kau lepaskan
Janji kau berikan
Untuk setia sepanjang
Meniti dan meniti hari

Kau kembali ke sisinya
Impianmu
Yang sebenar-benarnya ...

....................................................................................................................................................................

*me: the song that i hear just now..the end.

perasaan ini

i think we need to talk..

about what?

Owh.. that…

(then)..

i wish all the best for you.. all the best thing in the world just for you. i hate this part right here to make a decision whereby i know i cant do nothing.. this is a good news.. its a change .. yaa a drastic change..

blurr? for now? what we have right now…? why so many question before that time is up..

*me; jangan kacau, don't disturb

i'm not DEAD....but!!

Okay, second lie in less than 113 words..i haven’t particularly been busy with anything, except maybe… oh… important stuff... like Dota, SDO and D2...more? sure my ps2 xD



*After a night of gaming, the morning sunrays often dance all over my retina...*sight* a dance of pain and great suffering...




*conversation is entirely imaginary, but I think something to that effect was said that night. If you were there and happen to read this blog… Can’t a guy have a little artistic license on his own goddamn blog? Huh? HUH???



*there are several terms in there that probably warrant explanation, but to understand it you’ll need to play it.. i would show you one of those pictures they have on cigarette packets and tell you that playing the games causes you to get those to keep you away from it...sorry can't tell you more..? why? no idea..

*me; Seems we have the same problems … haha

*another me; (Unable to grow up even after feeding growth potion) can also get rid of it. go search... It's pretty new.

another diablo

i could actually just stop typing now... Iive said everything that matters! rejoice! diablo 3 will be playable on both sides of the globe this month! really great news if you ask me one... the reason for me getting excited, even though i am nowhere near either of them? leaks! information! footage! all of the above! what an eventful month this has turned out to be... i simply cannot wait..just in case, the end...

deep inside

hari khamis.. sedikit bosan dengan keadaan, hari yang aku tidak berapa pasti tapi aku keluar sendiri dari rumah dan turun ke fujimart..tapi bukan mau story apsal ni.. tapi mau story pasal sesuatu yang menyentuh perasaan ku..

dari pondok menunggu bas dekat kg aku aku naik bas untuk kebandar, awan nampak sedikit mendung..senyap jak..dalam masa kurang 15 minit aku sampai di banadr..then terpaksa naik satu lagi bas, dalam masa bas ni menuju ke fuji mart hujan renyai mula turun..sampai jak di tempat aku tuju tu aku turun dari bas..still masi lagi hujan renyai-renyai...aku jalan ikut lorong depan bagunnan takut kena hujan hehe..masa jalan tu aku paling balik tempat hentian bas tmpt aku berenti tadi..aku tengok la satu kapel but yang sedang menunggu sesuatu.. aku pun ndak berapa pasti tapi apa yang aku pasti mereka sangat bahagia..

suami berjalan dihadapan, isteri pegang kuat belakang suami dia.. bejalan tanpa bertanya apa-apa, biar orang tengok apa pun mereka tidak nampak…

yang pasti mereka jalan jak kehadapan menunggu, teksi datang tidak naik walaupun sudahh ditanya, bas datang pun tidak naik.. yang paling menyentuh tu, bila si suami ke depan sikit kena hujan, mau kebelakang ada orang bersesak yang berhati batu sikit pun tidak pandang dorang dan tanya apa-apa ka kan… yang pasti siterinya pun turut serta… bersama ngan suami dia.. sngat muhibah… hidayah allah kepada mereka snagat besar… sama sama ndak sempurna sian, tapi menjadikan diri mereka sempurna…

cuma mungkin apa yang aku ceritakan ini tidak memberi kesan.. tapi aku teringat satu pesan, kemana pun jangan jalan seorang diri, sebab kalau jalan seorang diri bak orang buta, hala tuju kita sendiri sahaja, tapi kalau berdua, baru sempurna sebab kita ada tempat bergantung. Macam mereka jugak… aku sangat sedih sebab ndak ramai orang disekeliling aku dapat memandang sebab mereka hanya dpat melihat...

ok batter [ part II ]

what should i write actually?? ok sebelum tu..mari dengar ini...
"Tak sengaja lewat depan rumahmu..Ku melihat ada tenda biru...Dihiasi indahnya janur kuning...Hati bertanya pernikahan siapa.
Tak percaya tapi ini terjadi...Kau bersanding duduk di pelaminan...Airmata jatuh tak tertahankan...Kau khianati cinta suci ini.
Tanpa undangan , Diriku kau lupakan...Tanpa utusan . . . Diriku kau tinggalkan...Tanpa bicara . . . Kau buat ku kecewa...Tanpa berdosa . . . Kau buatku merana...Ku tak percaya . . . Dirimu tega...Nodai cinta . . . Khianati cinta.. haha

mood aku down [ replay ]

here we goes again...same day same down, untuk entri yang sebelum ni aku terpaksa tangguh buat sementara..why? see tittle. Today was one of these days when everything goes wrong and i wish a had just stayed in bed dreaming of a better one, aku cakap tidur ka? for this 12hrs...i got no sleep one..kesian diri aku, begitu la apabila kebenaran tersingkap dan hati luluh tidak berkata *sight*

not enough time, not enough sleep, good friends in trouble… i guess it happens to everyone once in a while (mungkin).

ok..better

lupa..balik dari Restoran Singgah Selalu tadi pukul berapa, and..i finally managed to get a proper amount of sleep.. while that sleep happened to occur between 2am and 5am, it still did still occur, and it did me a world of good....did i? bah..here we goes again..

*i get pretty sentimental with my bloggings sometimes, and there's always a strange amount of guilt associated with anytime i mention anything too personal..*sight* ..hurrmm [ rindu eh..mau call baby ka tidak ]

i've spent the past few days just sitting around my house, and that is a lousy thing..[ bored ]

*sebenarnya aku mau buat a philosophical post but, and also wanna do some random shoots but i suddenly need to do stuffs..dota? ya maybe..sebab dari awal tengah hari lagi selalu ajak main dan buat pada ketika itu jugak aku betul-betul tengah sibuk..sibuk duduk termenung, alone? yah...[ rindu eh..mau call baby ka tidak ]


5:14am
#facebook msg from cengceng puspa
"salam abang"
-wsalam.w.w...
"bla..bla..bla....for 5-10mins

adik minta tolong buat kan sikit kerja...[dalam situasi sekarang]


Nah... Just kidding...not pointing fingers here, wasn't their fault solely.. wish i can be more organized tho... sorry sis :(

ok enuf of that...kenapa benda ni tidak mau lari dari kepala pemikiran aku...apa dia? ada lah...rahsia! rahsia mana boleh kongsi xD..jokeing nia... haha [ rindu eh..mau call baby ka tidak ] ni la dia...mari kita faham sama-sama..
it's all about relations-ship that was i thinking just now...actualy..from this 2 days...hurmm [ bersambung ]


...........................................................................

aku dan puasa...

me?….kalau ingat-ingat balik 1st time aku puasa penuh satu hari adalah masa aku umur 6-7 tahun mungkin...aduh! betapa siksanya lapar itu? heks...masa tu aku tinggal kampung, kecik lagi..badan pun kurus kering ( aku rasa aku, masa aku kecik-kecik dulu ada cacing ..heks..),tapi masa tu aku jenis yang suka diam-diam, yalah masa kecik tu selalu datang sakit. Sebelum-sebelum tu, aku puasa mesti setengah hari jak, sebab mamak takut aku pengsan..hehe.. kecik lagi masa tu…belum wajib!hehe…!

jadi bila aku masuk sekolah rendah,Ustaz aku time tu…orag Kelantan,nama Ustaz Najib.Dia kata,kalau tak pose takleh raya!Pehhh!Sapa tak nak raya?Abih tu takkan aku tak main bunga api ( bunga api batang besi Made in China ),mercun cabik ( mercun kecik warna merah tu..) and takkan aku tak pasang api “mandung” ( panjut/lilin/pelita ).Tak syiok la kan?

So aku kata kat mak aku,mak esok aku nak pose penuh.Tak kira..apa jadi pun aku nak lengkap jugak satu hari.Aku akan tunggu beduk dipalu kat Masjid,baru la bukak posa.Maka esoknya,balik sekolah aku campak beg.Lepas tu aku pegi main,tak rasa lagi laparnya…sebab aku berendam kat sungai dengan kawan aku.Dah petang aku balik rumah dah ada kick dah,aku bawak2 bertenang…sampai tertido.Bila dah betul2 petang,agak2 memang lagi 5-10 minit nak bukak tu…aku mula menunjukkan penderitaan yang setara dgn org2 kebuluran.Hehehe…dengan air mata meleleh,dagu menggeletar,badan dah layu habih…nak angkat tangan pun dah tak larat.Bapak aku suruh bukak,aku keras hati tak mau bukak.Ya…keras kepala dasat giler.Last2…bila beduk berdentum,aku dah tahap nak separuh melayang nyawa dah,mak aku suap bubur kacang sebab aku nak pegang sudu pun tak larat time tu.

Oh….masa tu aku tau….alangkah beruntungnya kita dapat makan dan minum.Dan beRAYA! :-)