My Real Word

banyak org cakap dan tnya aku.. why i'm colder now. bagus kau tanya la lagi.. this is the real word why.

bila sesuatu masa ..aku tidak cakap perempuan semuanyanya sama ..mungkin apa yg berlaku dengan aku berlaku kepada mereka jua..then here we go.

-when ever the damn girl walk in and out of this little heart. they left me rubbish which i can't forget. so many till i can't heal my heart anymore. suka atau pun tidak. i have to dump this stupid pumping flesh which people called heart. it's vital isn't it. not anymore. i've replaced with nothing..kerja,pergi jauh..recing..dota yang orang bilang aku main benda tu sampai addict,cehh apa dia tau pasal dota,aku main dota untuk suka-suka jak dan tiada lagi cinta-cinta ni, no more room for those romantic thinggy..dan pada suatu ketika semuanya tentang grinding the engine. i've almost died in recent accident. and i love the moment where i've save my life rather than saving a girls life. i love it more when i'm scared to death rather than scared of losing someone..and for dota i love the moments siting wif my friend,biar pun untuk 0.9 seconds of a game rather than a single second of kissing a girl. i love dota more then a girl now. gay? huh? atau menjadi lelaki biasa... thats what i am into now."

-mungkin suatu masa nanti hati ini akan terbuka untuk menerima cinta konok..but now i never will care for another damn girl. they all might be happier than before. i know. i'm a burden to them. i've break their heart. and so are they. who ever care about any stupid heart,small heart they might. but i'm not. not anymore. i dont have one. so go on and laugh if you want..lucu,aku tahu itu.. hahahaha.ketawa sampai koma.. laugh as long as you want. but i don't give any damn things anymore"

- i'm talking this not to any ex. but to anyone. i want they see how deep the last relation teach me. how far all the relation have dragged me into hell. how hard they hit me to the floor. sorry to say perempuan semua pikir aku senang datang dan pergi...huh, dia baru hilang sorang laki sua mcm apa. aku. sudah hilang berbelas perempuan dan cinta. tapi apa hasilnya? ia ajar aku. cinta sesuatu yang cukup rapuh dan ndak bawak untung..ya bukan jodoh..aku paham jua itu..then people said. aku cari pmpuan mcm cari baju kasut apa segala. ya! i do. aku cari perempuan untuk isi hati yang kosong. bila ia hilang aku cari yang baru untuk ganti hati yang kosong dekat hati ni.thats not love? then? apaitu love. .?sudah la ...aku ndak mau tahu, the more i know. the more i suffer...aku ndak kisah 100% kesalahan kau letak dengan aku..biarrr...


-what ever u felt when u lost someone. multiply them at least 3 times. and then you know how i'm doing now...siting here play dota try hard...very very hard get double kill, i'm far greater than u can ever archieve. try it. and u'll know how deep the scars. then u'll know how this heart being crushed a lot. aku salah atau salahnya orang lain..rasa bila kehilangan seseorang, the feeling of losing someone is almost the same. and i'm facing it every 3 to 6 month. got to strong enough standing here. sekarang aku tegah duduk.bukan jua berlari,tetapi aku duduk,bukan duduk menunggu macam orang bodok datang dan peluk aku... but sitting for playing dota. as long as i could. so every pain could draft away. sama macam asap rokok yang keluar dari mulut... worry for wat? stop giving that hope. you. and all of you out there. you stabbed me with the sharpest knife.. you left me in such pain. all of you. and blaming me. such noble gift from someone who devoted his heart to. thanx to all girl. you all really shaped what i am today. terima kasih banyak-banyak!!!"

-eNd of me-