dedicated for someone

Untuk seseorang yang aku baru chat hari ni, aku mintak maaf banyak-banyak kalau kau terasa dengan aku. Dengan sikap aku. Dengan cara aku. I know that you know I'm referring this to you. mungkin kau ada masalah pasal friendship now. Aku pulak tidak banyak membantu kau. Aku pun ndak pndai mcm mana mau dicribe perihal kisah friendship.. If you ask for my opinion, what i'm gonna do if i'm in your shoes? I think it's really hard for me also. But maybe my choice is [1]Tell her what i feel right now and said it straight to her face...i mean discuss with her..make all things clear.. (which i think i will never do that but it's good choice) [2]Forget and forgive (but it's almost impossible in your situation) [3] Forget but not forgive..(i always choose this when it's complicated!)..macam mana bad i'm give a bad suggestions. But, u can choose the first one. It's good. U may not lost friend also. Don't be me. Because for me friendship is the most complicated thing for teens. And i hate to add this stupid complicated things into my life...jadi aku tinggalkan semuanya di belakang..baik buruk kadang-kadang aku malas pikir,tapi pikir jua... (-.-")
bukan aku cakap..orang memang cengini .. I accept everybody to be my friend. tapi kawan yang betul-betuk kawan lain,..maksudku, someone that I know will never ever talk behind my back. someone that will defend me when somebody tell her something bad about me. somebody that really understand my situation. someone that will tell me when there's rumors about me around me and ask me to make it right..dan... absolutely not ask for information from me so that she can spread it to others. dan.. itz really hard to find friend like this now. kalaula ada kawan yang macam gini, tentu jua aku pun buat yang sama dan berterima kasih untuk dia..kalau la...
aku pantang kalau ada orang yang suka cakap pasal aku di belakang,bukan jak aku tapi oarang lain.. u absolutely no idea how much i hate it. It's really hypocrite when somebody come to you, laughing and show that she's good friend in front of you but, when you walk away she/he talking to others about how bad you and your life..zzzz..wen at first you trusted her and tell her your biggest secret. but in the end, bukan jak dia tahu rahsia tentang kita, but all of your friend seems like knowing it too..diu~~ when he/she met you, she act like there's nothing happen. and act like she/he is a good friend. how WTF is that??!
macam mana aku pilih kawan? senang tu tidak la..kalau ada orang yang datang dekat dengan aku dan cerita itu ini tentang yang lain kompom dia masuk list non-trusted friends... I won't reveal any information about myself to her because i know if now she/he can talk about others to me... I made conclusion that it is better not to have friend than to had someone like that. I start walking away from my friend. really lonely but, i enjoy it sometime...coz i;m a bit silent person..yaa...maybe..
kadang -kadang jua aku pun terkeluar atau telepas cakap bila duduk berbual dengan yang lain,expecially when talking about someone that i really hate. It really hard to forget and forgive for sumone like that. i hope i can change my self and be a better person. i really hope i can change myself.

*for me being silent ..silent..silent silent...