pain that we hide

tears drops when something happen..

untuk bapak tersayang:
"save your penny for other siblings. tau jugak aku, aku bukan siapa-siapa. i'll pay back if you want."

untuk mamak tercinta:
"cry as much as you can. coz after you gone. it's me who will cry for you. not them"

untuk adik perempuanku:
"you the smart ass around here. you'll figured out someday who i am"

untuk adik-adikku:
"satu masa nanti kamu akan ambik tempat aku... when that day come. i'm out of it"

untuk keluargaku:
"aku tau, aku yang paling tua. but it doesn't means that i'm the one to be fooled,controlled and judged around here. i've been enduring to survive in this house. why?sebab bila masa sesuatu terjadi, aku punca bagi segalanya, dan bila semuanya berlaku kamu jauh pulak dari aku. i don't give a shit about it. i talk,shout or do what i want. deal with it or fold me out. and i'm strongly oppose the quotation 'my home,my paradise'. simply because paradise is nothing near that i can be. i'm burning inside this house. coz no one seems to understand me..aku ndak minta banyak, cuma paham-paham sajalah, sebab kita keluarga. "

and then i would like to say that.

"supposely, aku harus hormat keluargaku dan kamu semua. but as long as you didn't. i'm ain't giving any shit."

to all followers,my wordpress,twiter and here say my word..:Terima Kasih.
really appreciate that. thanx.

recently i was losing my sanity.
i've become cold,quiet and rebellious.
it's not that i'm liking it.
but i'm moving towards it.
i was so out of the mood.
it's like everyone was turning back.
it's like everything was fading away.
so i guess i just turned away from all this nonsense.
the more i think,care or love.
the more it's hurt.
so i'm leaving.


  1. u r not alone all the time my dear...trust me..Allah always there for u...

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  4. sabar bilis...rsanya hmm..ni gelodak jjiwa remaja...pe yg bilis alami ni smajer cm adik erien..die pun rsa cmtu..pape pun..wish u the best...